Why Fear is Important, an All Night Fire and Digging a Grave

No one improves through comfort. Period. Comfort is soothing, calming, predictable. It's what happens after it's been far too long since we scared ourselves. At first, it's a welcome respite, but if we settle into it for too long, it becomes a place of complacency, even of hiding.

The only way to grow is to expand the limits of what you believe you are capable of. Whether it be sticking to a diet or journeying into the unknown, it is this pushing beyond what we have already accomplished that is so telling.

As someone recently sober, I can honestly say that the act of simply learning to deal with life without the habit of seeking comfort through alcohol invoked fear in the beginning. It doesn't take a solo hike in the forest to challenge yourself and to find out what you're afraid of. However, it is only through walking onto an unknown path such as this that we discover new pathways heretofore untraveled.

It is only through looking our fears and ourselves squarely in the eye that we can learn to seek even greater challenges and create new healthier practices and habits.

That being said, it is hard, in the beginning to forge these new paths and pathways. Old habits die hard, and our perceptions have been molded over years of doing the same destructive things time and again.

To paraphrase a friend, "One path suggests we continue walking down this new way of life (new diet, new hobby, now cigarette free, etc.) in the spirit of curiosity, compassion and discovery. As it is an unfamiliar path, it requires more courage, even though we "know" it is the better way and intellectually should be the easier choice.

The other path is to throw ones hands up at the uncertainty continuing this unknown path will bring and leave it behind for the (binge eating, cigarette, drunkenness), the familiar hurt, a kind of pathological re-traumatization."

I put this out there for all of my friends and clients as a sort of challenge to take your own road less traveled, your wilderness adventure, your scarier path.

I sincerely believe in constantly pushing up against one's fears, which is exactly why I prepare regularly through my adventures to overcome my own limitations.

After having a coyote howl right outside my tent in Texas at 3 am, a pack of wild pigs less than 15' away that afternoon, stepping over countless rattle snakes on my hikes, sleeping solo in the wilderness, getting lost, being cold, being scared and having a bear eat my backpack, I can honestly say that each weekend I become more and more certain in my abilities toward one of my long-term goals which is a mastery of what it takes to survive in the wild.

I have much to learn and much to overcome, but each trial brings me jubilation.

This past weekend after being seriously cold 3 weeks before, I set out to be warm, dammit!

I decided to learn to build a heated rock pit and build an all night fire.

I arrived at my campsite Saturday about 3 pm ready to get to work. Saturday is usually a rest day from training for me, but today I had to make an exception. I stopped by Sport Chalet on the way there in hopes of finding a camp shovel, but alas, they didn't even have one in their selection. Lucky for me, I found a 2" thick piece of bark that was about 10" long near my campsite, which I would make work just as well.

I had about 2 hours until sunset, but I had to prioritize. First I cleared a pathway to the stream nearby. Then I set about to build a general fire. I also gathered about 15 nerf-football sized rocks, and after my fire had developed enough coals, set them deeply within, so they could get hot.

Then I set about to chop enough wood for the night. As I was going to make an all night fire, I needed more wood than usual. Although I sang the praises of my Bahco Laplander foldable saw my last adventure weekend, the little bugger was far too small for the task at hand, but I had to make it work.

I drug over about 8 fallen trees to my campsite, then I set about sawing their 8" diameter trunks into logs about 3' long for my fire. I turned each sawing venture into a WOD (workout of the day) of sorts. "Sawing for Time" was my favorite one, valiantly trying to make a game out of backbreaking hard work that I knew was going to take me hours.  Undaunted, I poured sweat, made mincemeat blisters out of my hands and soldiered on.

"One thousand one, one thousand two, one thousand three", I'd pant, as I tried to see if I could saw this log in fewer strokes than the one I just finished. My heart rate would race, and I'd push myself to sprint the finish, sitting down afterward to catch my breath for the next foray into a fiercely anaerobic log-cutting race for time.

At about 8 pm, I decided to take a break and begin the arduous task of digging a grave. Well, it was a rock grave, anyway. I was digging a hole about six feet long and one foot deep. I started by chopping up the soil with my knife, breaking up the entangled grass, then shoveling it out with my new bark trowel. Once again, I found myself counting each stroke as if I was competing against my competitive teammate Julie for the highest score. My battery powered headlamp lit the way, as I feared not.

I actually marveled at my fearlessness. It was pitch black outside my headlamp's gaze. I sang out loud the praises of the universe marveling at the loads of stars, cold air and endless black.

A hiker's headlamp peered over the ravine at me.

There was a small footbridge not 25' from my campsite that allowed travelers to traverse the now bubbling creek on the path from West Fork to Valley Forge, where I was staying. The last time I stayed here quite a few bikers arrived after dark, their headlamps aglow allowing them to be sure afoot.

I saw the headlamp, then it disappeared. Then it reappeared. Then it disappeared. I kept waiting for the hiker to cross the bridge, but they were holding back. Was there a campsite over there? I thought for sure there wasn't. Why were they taking so long? After a bit, their lamp disappeared. I figured maybe they'd turned back.

About three minutes later, I couldn't help myself. I grabbed my bear spray and my knife and I headed over to take a look.

The most wonderful thing about these adventures is that I always see something beautiful, and I always leave with more knowledge that from whence I came.

There staring back at me was a wolf. No, rather it was a coyote. You see, there are only seven known wolves in California, and they live in Siskiyou County. Apparently there may have been wolves at one time in California, but not likely in So Cal. Even then the proof of their numbers is sketchy, as coyotes used to be referred to as wolves at one time.

Fascinating.

What I found fascinating was that the reflection on his eyes was so bright, I was certain it HAD to be a headlamp and could not possibly be the eyes of an animal. Now I know better, and I know what to look for in the pitch black dark.

Mr. or Ms. coyote scampered off, never to be seen again all weekend long.

Back to digging my grave.

A plane soared overhead. I wondered if its pilot thought I was burying a body. I chuckled at the absurdity of the thought (for me), but realized it isn't out of the realm of possibilities for a madman.

After about another hour, my rock pit was dug--now back to sawing logs.

At about 10 pm, I finally finished my task. Twenty five logs of similar length all laid in a neat little row ready to protect me from bears, keep me warm and rock me to sleep.

First, however, I had to try out my new hot rock heater bed. I had a small barrier to overcome in that I had made my fire in the requisite deep fire pit, so now I was faced with getting 15 scorching hot rocks over a ten inch barrier to their ultimate home in mother Earth.

Forty five minutes later, I had the rocks assembled in nice little rows, and I set about to cover them with the loose dirt. After waiting half the suggested two hours, as now I was beat, I set up my tent and sleeping pad over the dirt and got in to test it out.

Success!! Not only was the dirt warm, it was almost hot in some places!! Tonight I was going to sleep like a newborn baby in its admiring mother's arms.

I set about to prepare my all night fire. Laying 5 logs on the ground, I then packed the cracks that separated them with dirt leaving no holes. I then lay another set of five logs in the opposite direction filling the crevices with dirt in the same fashion. Three more stacks completed, and I stacked the top with hot coals and kindling and set the whole top row ablaze.

It was a veritable bonfire!! No bear would dare come here!

It worked beautifully as planned. The dirt prevented the hot coals from dropping to the layers below too early, so by the time they did drop, the upper portion was pretty used up. Add to that the additional warmth, and I really did sleep as if it was my last dying wish to be once again near my Mother's succulent breast.

When I awoke the next morning at dawn, coals were still going, and it took no time to get my coffee going.

I love it when things go right!

On Living in the Wilderness

Thoreau: 'I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.'

What is it that draws a man into the woods?

Some cultures and religions believe in past lives. Perhaps there is some remembrance from ancient times, some spiritual connection that like spider webs sticky with morning dew has its pattern ingrained in us. We cannot help but to try to build webs. Perhaps there is some sort of genetic tape machine that records imprints of everything that ever was for each of us, everything we ever experienced along our many lives and at opportune times, those memories flow forth as if from just yesterday.

Perhaps those of us drawn to uncover the deep mysteries of the forest in the modern day were once like Ayla in Clan of the Cave Bear. It feels natural to long to return to the simplicity that defined our hunter-gatherer lives.

Maybe it is simply too much of being inside, in the four walls that make up our homes, then the four walls that make up our offices, then the four walls that make up our cars, our supermarkets and the drugstore where we stopped to buy the Advil to dull the pain of the headache we've had since yesterday.

It is simply an act of eliminating time, of extending ourselves into so much formless space that walls cannot contain us, and in so doing rediscover that part of our minds and souls which we used to roam so freely with when we were young and which we dare to allow to roam freely now despite our age and aspirations toward agelessness.

Have you ever meditated in the manner in which you just daydream, plan, pursue your thoughts and questions unflinchingly for hours? For me, being in the wilderness elicits that same sort of exhilaration.

A few weekends ago, I set off to a nearby trail camp, Valley Forge, to reconnect. I've stayed there before, but I went there specifically because each time I go out, I set myself up with a few tasks. I needed a place I knew would allow me the essentials I needed to work on the four tenets of survival : Shelter, Water, Fire and Food. In order, these four categories encapsulate how to prioritize any survival situation. In thinking about them, I've come to realize, they also mirror the essentials of life.

My goals for this weekend were to build a shelter I could sleep in, to test out my new pump water filter, to continue practicing how to make fires efficiently and  to identify as many edibles as possible. I also planned to practice tracking animals--getting a feel for their habitats and identifying their prints--and I planned to roast some acorns as well.

After arriving late on Friday, I made quick work of setting up camp, as Saturday morning was when the real work would begin.

At sunrise, I awoke, chilly and ready. After lighting a quick fire, I set about to make my first shelter of the weekend.

Wow!  If you have never owned a Bahco Laplander foldable saw, and you regularly have to bushwhack in the forest, do yourself a favor and get one. This little gadget cost me all of $20, but I got more than my money's worth in only one weekend. I sawed logs up to 8" in diameter with more ease than the bigger hand saw I have in my garage. I cut down various branches, long, short, thick and thin, filled with leaves and also some barren to make my shelter. 

Using the giant sized picnic tables as my backdrop, I set up a long pole horizontally from the benches, about 3 feet off the ground, and anchored it at a diagonal on the other side with a branch shaped like a Y. Deciding on a basic A-frame style, I got to work, spending about 4 hours cutting trees, sawing logs, weaving branches in and out, then finally laying loads of debris, leaves and vines over my temporary abode, I created a basic structure that I was excited to test out for the night.

Laying the foundation for the A-frame.

Here's the view from the front door looking in.

Shelter represents sanctuary, safety and a place to call home. It protects us from the elements, other animals as well as sets the stage for building the family structure from whence our personalities begin to emerge. Shelter, in our daily life might also represent our career, our calling, that which we base our view of ourselves upon.

After I finished building my shelter, I set about getting enough fire wood to be all but set for the weekend. I take tremendous pride in setting up my campfire. Spending a great deal of time peeling off small ribbons of bark to create my spark "bird nest" material, I second that with dozens of sticks no thicker than standard cordage put in a neat little pile. Next to that, I place pencil thickness sticks, then finger thickness twigs, wrist thick sticks, then calf and thigh sized logs. Loads of wooden body parts lay organized in the order in which they will be needed to fuel my fire. After several hours of work,  I had many bodies worth of wood laid out. I'd need to do very little extra wood gathering over the weekend.

To light my fire, I used cotton balls soaked in petroleum jelly, as they are the world's easiest fire starter. Once that was set up, I put on a pot to boil water adding about a cup of diced pine needles to make a tea.

Fire. The obviously physical correlation is warmth, but I also believe emotionally, fire represents adventure, daring, a lust for life, a quest or something that impels each of us forward. Fire represents our soul's thirst for discovery and the great unknown.

My campsite was set up next to a stream, which made for easy access to water. I'd accidentally ordered the "mini" pump, but despite having to refill its tiny bag over and over, it worked extremely well. Personally, I don't mind the taste of iodine, but sometimes it is nice not to have to use yellow water.

Water. Without it, you will die in a manner of days. It is that critical to your body. Thirst manifests itself as tiredness, then exhaustion. As we dehydrate, the tiredness also negatively affects our mind. To me, water is akin to the need for spirit. A daily dose of life infusing joy, beauty, love, excitement and enthusiasm helps keep us happy. Without those, our spirit stars to deaden and dry up--forcing life to lose its luster. Too little water and we wither and die.

My next step was to pre-set up my bear vault line. I found a tree easily 200 meters away and at least 20 feet up from which to hang my food. After the close call I had a few weeks ago, I would prefer any curious bears not be close enough to my tent to hear, and losing my food this time--forcing an early end to my glorious three-day weekend--was simply not an option.

Now it was time to forage the area for food. I set about to gather as many identifiable plants as I could. Buckwheat, horehound, chickweed, acorns, dandelion, curly doc and yucca were plentiful. I chaffed the buckwheat to make a porridge, and cracked open the acorns to begin the long process of blanching away the tannins to make them suitable for eating. The chickweed and curly doc I used for nibbling on, but I made a nice side of boiled dandelion greens to go with my dinner.

I also gathered dozens of acorns. I've read that acorns have as much protein as a hamburger, but according to Wikipedia, that is fallacy. Acorns, per 100 g (3.5 oz) have about 41 g carbs, 24 g fat and a mere 6 g of protein--about as much as one egg. However, considering they are plentiful in any part of the country, they seem a viable food source to learn to consume. The only issue is they contain massive amounts of tannins, which can cause kidney issues if consumed in great quantities (not to mention taste horrible) so they have to be boiled multiple times to remove these, then roasted to make them more palatable. 
I blanched mine six times, and some were still a bit tannic, but all in all they were fine.

For the buckwheat porridge, I simply rinsed the buckwheat, then boiled it in a pot of water. It kind of came out like a cross between cream of wheat and grape nuts. It was actually pretty good, but don't put ANY of the white buds in the mix, as they are very bitter and will ruin the entire batch.

Food. Food is the daily grind, our need for routine and regularity. As important as adventure, routine is also a sustenance we must have in order to have prediction and to plan and build our futures and lives.

I then set up my tent, got out the books I had brought along, and made myself comfortable by my fire until nightfall.

Valley Forge Trail Camp is fantastic. if you're looking to enjoy the beauty that is the San Gabriel mountains, in a not too far out of the way place, I highly recommend  Valley Forge. It's a short two mile hike in from the Red Box parking lot adjacent to the Hahamonga visitor's center off the Angeles Crest Highway. The path is well marked and almost entirely downhill on the way in. You'll pass a cool leaf tunnel with blackberry vines for ground cover, loads of oak and pine trees, rolling hills, a trail that looks like it belongs in a movie and loads of shade. The zillions of flies that dogged me the last time I was here were now gone due to the colder weather. 

I couldn't find any history on the area, but there are several small old stone houses that are abandoned-- appearing to have been used as lodging in the past. I don't know if the forest service uses them now, but they seemed to have been vacated long ago. I daydreamed of buying one of these homes and living here or one of those tiny houses near Chantry Flats. Even the thought of living without running water or electricity did not deter my fantasy.

After about 11 o'clock, I decided to call it a night and test out my new abode. Sleeping in the shelter was okay, however it was not as warm as I would have liked. I decided to try to improve upon my design the next morning, so I awoke early and got to work. As I lit my morning fire, I came across a very unusual discovery. Inside a giant pine cone, which I had grabbed to use as kindling, I discovered hundreds of lady bugs huddled together to keep warm from the cold. There was frost on the ground this morning, so I'm assuming this was what they do to survive. Later in the afternoon, as it warmed up, that same pine cone was found empty, and ladybugs were swarming everywhere.

A-frame plus tarp

Finished Shelter

As the morning progressed, the sunshine dwindled and ominously dark rain clouds started to threaten rain.  I decided to set myself up a stiff deadline to get my new shelter built. I figured I maybe had an hour.                            

View from the front door

I set about tearing apart my old shelter with great fervor. A nearby log presented itself as a viable option for one of the walls, but the sticks I had already cut would make my structure too low to the ground. I hauled a few bench tops from one of the other sites to create a raised platform for my bed. If it rained, I didn't want a small river to create a freezing bathtub under me. I placed the one long tree I had cut down at an angle to create the apex of the roof, then created a shallow tent-like structure with the remaining sticks and logs. I placed a tarp that a visiting troop of boy scouts left for me over the whole structure, then piled it high with tree limbs filled with leaves, debris, more leaves and vines from nearby weeds.

It was so small, I could barely roll over in it, which I figured would be all the better to keep me warm. I was looking forward to seeing if the stories I'd heard of shelters like these being so warm, one would sweat all night in them to the test. At the very least, I was looking forward to a not-so-uncomfortably-chilly night's sleep.

As I put the finishing touches on my new abode, the rain started coming down. I had thought ahead to move all of my firewood under the gigantic picnic table which fenced in my campsite, and I also was able to move my tent under there. As the winds picked up and the rain came down, I holed up in my tent to wait out the storm. 

It was interesting to note that a steady light rain was not enough to put out my fire. I realized how it must take something akin to a flash flood to put out a raging blaze.

I spent the rest of the day reading, studying, then walking around once the rain stopped.

After a dinner of acorns, pemmican (not homemade), dandelion greens and Cliff Bar's, I decided to call it a night early about 10 pm, eager to try out my new cozier shelter.

My second shelter was warmer, but not by much. It didn't help that the temperature had dropped into the 30's, and the winds howled ferociously all night long. I'm confident that sans wind, this shelter would've really done the trick. As it was, I had to stoke the fire all night to maintain a bit of comfort and warmth.

Sunday morning found me awaking earlier than planned, so I decided to make the best of it. I had found a major animal thoroughfare the day before, so after my morning cowboy coffee, I decided to take a walk to see whatever animal tracks I could identify. Wow! There were deer tracks everywhere in the wet sand as well as raccoon tracks. I was thrilled to even notice them, much less be able to tell what they were. Someday I want to build a tree stand and camp out all night in it, videotaping all the animals as they pass me by. I have a feeling I am going to be completely enthralled.


Building two shelters taught me what worked and what didn't. The larger one, while more comfortable, was cold and drafty. The smaller one, although less roomy was warmer by far.

Building a fire with care allowed me to be warm without giving it much thought. That freedom allowed my sleeping alone in the wilderness to stoke my need for adventure and the great unknown.

Having water nearby infused me with joy. Quenching my thirst and starting my day squatting next to a cold spring could not help but bring a daily smile to my face.

Enjoying the food I gathered was fun and interesting. I realized how much food it takes to sustain a human for one day. It makes me appreciate the laws we have in our great land to protect our many species and helped me realize how invaluable our farmers and ranchers are to our survival.

About 1 pm, I decided to call it a day and I headed back home to my wonderful business. Singing to the birds from a place of pure joy, I felt refreshed, high on life and stoked to see what opportunities the week would bring. I can't wait to go on another adventure!

Abandoned Campsites and the Bear Who Ate My Backpack

After my harrowing jaunt a few weeks ago, I felt determined to revisit that path. (If you missed my last blog in which I felt I was being hunted, you can find it here). And like last week in which I just sort of "felt" something was off, this time I "knew" we were going to have a bear encounter....which is why I brought along my trusty friend, Dan. Lol.

Dan and I hit the trail about 2:00 pm on Sunday. We were traveling the Silver Moccasin Trail from the Angeles Crest Highway mile marker 43.30 down 3.88 miles to the West Fork Campground. Actually, this was my 3rd attempt at making West Fork. During my 2nd foray ever, before I learned to read a map (and take one along), I turned around before I got to the cut off. Last week, I turned back after I had a very scary feeling I was being hunted.

  This week, the skies were blue, I had a companion for safety, and everything was pointed in the right direction. About a mile down, we passed a couple coming up the trail we were headed down. They warned us that the campsite was eerie. There were a number of abandoned tents there. "It's pretty weird", the lady told us, as we conversed. I asked them about the trail and how easy it was to follow. The gentleman told me it was easy, and I should just follow his big footsteps.

Hmmm, I thought. Sounds good. I had lost the trail somehow last weekend (I'm good at that), so I was hopeful this time would be easier, and it was. A mountain biker came up behind us about a half mile later. He passed us, then we caught up to him. He was busy sawing down one of the many branches blocking the trail from an easy biking path. One thing about this trail, there were more fallen trees to go over and especially under than on any path I've been on thus far.

I hate when I have to go under a tree. It always involves me walking on my knees, and save for my trekking poles to help me, it's always a bitch to get back up with my big pack on my back. Sherpa Dan seemed to have no issues with these. Yeah, whatever.

As we got to the valley of the mountain, bug season began. We should've been warned when we noticed the cyclist wearing a full on safari hat with a mosquito net. O.M.G. Swarms of flies and mosquitoes followed our every move. My veritable windshield wiper arm went up again, as did the lower lip trumpet I use--exhaling every breath vainly upward to blow the flies away from my tear ducts. F**kers! We sprayed ourselves with deet liquid mixed with a citronella spray a friend had given me a few weeks back, which unfortunately didn't work too well on its own. This alleviated our issues by about 25%. Crap.

The buzzing around our ears was probably the most annoying. It's like chinese water torture, only worse. Finally, in a fit of utter frustration, Dan came up with the Aunt Jemima head wrap. We both wrapped our bandanas like Aunt Jemima does with the tie on the top, our ears covered from the incessant buzzing. Although the swarms didn't stop, the buzzing was muffled significantly, and we reached our campsite sanity still in tact.

Dan started a fire, so the smoke would rid us of the flies, while I set up my bird trap again. A mosquito pierced my shoulder over and over and over before Dan finally mashed it. I had 27 bites there to show for it's blood-letting the next day.

After about half an hour, I set the trap out near a nearby dry creek bed, where I'd seen and heard lots of birds, and we headed back to set up our tent.

The campsite was odd. There were 3 small 1-2 man tents all by the same company that were abandoned--two blue and one green. The green one had been moved, blown, pushed into another nearby creek bed about 15 feet away, while the other 2 were positioned around a picnic table in which loads of trash remained. In another adjacent site, a larger 6 man tent stood empty. How weird. It's as if everyone in this party got spooked and left at the same time. The food and trash looked like it had been there for awhile. The big tent's door was open. The green tent in the creek was closed up. In one of the other small blue tents, a large apple juice bottle half filled with what looked like urine remained. A sleeping bag with a flannel liner had cobwebs in it.

There was a fire starter log in the same tent. In the other tent were just the tent directions and leftover tent poles.  On the picnic table was a broken bottle of beer and a bottle of Wild Turkey with a bit remaining. Weird. How long had this been like this? It really looked like it had been months.

The couple we passed had told us one of the tents appeared to still be occupied, but we could tell right away we were going to be the only ones there this night.

We set up our tent on the opposite side of the fairly small campground, about 25 yards away.

Here's what the set up looked like if you drew a square. On the east side was a creek cutting diagonally to the north, On the north side was a dried creek bed where I set my trap. On the west side was another trail and to its right a largish hill covered in leaves. We were on the south side. The whole campsite was maybe 30 yards by 30 yards.

Dan and I set up our tent, ate a few Cliff Builder's Bars and stayed up talking until about 11 pm, when we decided to turn in for the evening. I'd been up since 5 am, had run 10 miles in the morning, and I was beat. I knew he'd struggle with sleep, since he stays up until 2 am most evenings. Right before we went in the tent, we went over to check my bird trap (empty) and put my back pack with all our food in it about 12' up in a tree. I knew 15' was recommended, but 12' was what we found. It was late. I was tired.  Additionally, everything in my bag was in a a bear-smell-proof bag, so I felt we were golden.

Wrong!

The biggest problem with West Fork Campground and also with Valley Forge is the sheer number of acorn trees on the premises. To a novice, every acorn dropping sounds like a wild animal. As I had already camped at Valley Forge, I wasn't even remotely disturbed by these sounds, Dan on the other hand was sure he was hearing animals everywhere.

I can laugh now, but he reminded me of my first night alone up in Trail Canyon. I "knew" I was safe, but my mind made everything larger than it was.

After about 1/2 an hour, Dan woke me up. "Did you hear that?", he said? I listened. Nothing. "It's acorns, Dan. Go back to bed." Another 1/2 an hour, "Shannon, I heard an animal pass by."  "Dan, honey, it's nothing. It's acorns. Go back to bed."  An hour later, "Shannon, no seriously, I heard a growl. Listen." I listened. "There it was again, did you hear it?" Nothing. "No, babe, nothing. I heard nothing." I sat up with him awhile trying to encourage him. Dan's strong, brave, he's not a dummy, and he has more backpacking experience than I have. However, it had been awhile (a) and (b) this was one noisy-ass campground.

I sank back into sleep. I could've slept through an earthquake, I was so beat. About 2 am, Dan woke me. "Hear that?" This time, I DID hear it. There was a distinct munching sound. It was clear an animal was in our campsite and he was munching on something heavy and plastic. "It's that apple juice bottle filled with pee", Dan said. "No bear's gonna be attracted to pee, said I. "I think he got a hold of my back pack and has my new $35 bladder in his teeth.

We both sat there, all the hairs on our necks being drawn to the moon by some invisible static electricity. Then we heard the unthinkable. The bear knocked down one of the abandoned tents. Then we heard him walk over and tear another one. Although we never deigned to look out of our tent, we both knew it was a bear. What else could it be?

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

We were nothing short of terrified. Having a bear in your campsite was one thing, but a bear that was strategically tearing through each tent in succession was another. We wondered if it would only be a matter of time until we were next. I pulled out my bear-spray and readied it. Dan got out his knife. We sat up, quiet, still.

The bear sat munching, crunching, smashing that plastic whatever-it-was and making lots of noise for over an hour. Finally, he went away.

Oh my god. That was even scarier than last week!! We laid back down, shaking, amazed and marveled at how crazy this had been. We regaled stories of "what ifs." What if there had been no back pack, would he have come for us? His demolition of two of the tents made us wonder.

What if we'd been lazy and put the bag in our tent? O. M. G., we would be telling a far more terrifying tale now, we knew that for sure. After another half an hour of calming ourselves down, we finally sank into sleep.

I learned a TON this weekend. #1: Bear proof bags are B. S.  I had a hunch, but until this occurrence, I couldn't be sure. They're supposed to be "smell proof". Nope, don't believe it.  #2: NEVER be too lazy to hang up your pack. #3: Twelve feet is not high enough. #4: If you're in a campsite with lots of trash, clean it up to prevent a bear from thinking there's dinner. #5: NEVER sleep with your food in your tent. Just don't do it.

Out of curiosity, I looked up statistics on bears in our area.  Did you know that ALL black bears in So Cal are the descendants of 27 bears shipped here from Yosemite in 1933? Did you know that only Grizzly Bears are native to So Cal, but that they were hunted to extinction--the last one was killed February 26, 1908. (Source: http://www.kcet.org/updaily/socal_focus/history/la-as-subject/a-brief-history-of-bears-in-the-los-angeles-area.html)

Did you know also that "Fish and Game reports 12 known wild bear attacks in California since 1980 not including one last year in the Tahoe Sierra. The last Californian killed by a wild bear died in the 19th century, and the bear at fault was a grizzly." Most black bears avoid humans. I also read that one should bring a bear proof tin whenever camping, as most bears had long ago figured out how to get bags out of trees. Lol!

The next morning, I awoke first. I grabbed Dan, so we could head over to survey the damage. The one tent was completely flattened. Can you imagine if someone was in there? The other tent had several big slash marks, where the bear just decided he wanted to see what was inside. The large tent was

untouched. The trash that was on the picnic table was now scattered everywhere, the Wild Turkey bottle was broken and it's contents spilled, and the apple juice bottle filled with pee was totally smashed.

I walked to my backpack. Wow. Only part of the waist strap clung to the tree. The rest of its contents, and all the baggies were ripped open. Six of 8 Builder's Bars we had in there were gone. (I guess he was full.) All the trail mix had been eaten, teeth marks punctured my tiny bottle of Ibuprofen I carry. (Glad he didn't get that; it might have killed him.) My brand new $35 bladder I bought to save me from having to stop every 15-30 mins to drink Gatorade was emptied and shredded. (Guess bears like Gatorade as much as I do.) Both our toothbrushes had dirt ground into them and our toothpaste tube was punctured. The entire bottom of my backpack had been torn off. 


Not to mention that the bear had tripped my dang bird trap and had eaten all the seeds and berries I'd left there. Go figure.  And to top it off, he'd laid a huge-o-mongo shit there too. I mean, this baby was easily 4" in diameter.  We figured with the size of that poop, the claw marks, and the fact he had to reach at least 12' to get to my back pack, this was one big bear.

We laughed again at our good fortune and how crazy the whole experience had been, thankful it had turned out the way it did.

Fortunately this bear didn't care for coffee. We lit a fire and had a few cups along with the two remaining uneaten Builder's Bars for breakfast.

Then, not wanting to leave the campsite in the terrible disarray we found it, we set about cleaning up all the trash left behind by the other party as well as our own, burned it all, broke down one of the tents for me to take home (since mine leaks and sucks) and prepared to break camp.

There was one small problem that now presented itself. Now we only had one pack, yet we had to hike out with everything we came in with plus one additional one-person tent. I'd also hiked in with all the sticks necessary to make my bird trap, since cutting them to size is incredibly time-intensive, and I wasn't willing to leave them behind.

I packed the sticks in one of the leftover tent bags, tied that to the other "new" tent I was taking, tied my sleeping pad to that, stuffed my sleeping bag in that sleeping pad, tied the tent we brought to that and tied a large loop around that big enough to be worn around the forehead with the items dangling behind. It only weighed about 20#. It worked fantastically.

We felt great, so Dan started out with the now 50# framed backpack he brought, and I wore the head-wrap pack. Off we headed, Aunt Jemima scarves pre-tied, as the sun was up and the bugs were already biting.

We waded through tall grasses, and forest that resembled jungle, as we wound our way out. Finally, after about 35 mins, we started heading back up the mountain. Dan, unused to hiking hills with a weighted pack, quickly fatigued. Realizing if we didn't pick up the pace, I wouldn't be back to work on time Monday afternoon, we traded. 

We made great time taking about 2 hours and 15 mins to reach the car. Our legs and lungs burned from a 1550 foot elevation gain. It was slow and tiring work. Dan was fried, but I was starving. After a quart of orange juice, a 32 oz bottle of mango protein drink and a half a Hamburger Habit Santa Barbara Style Bacon, Avocado, Cheeseburger, I felt satiated, and we called it a day.

Now that was an adventure I'm in no hurry to repeat!

Being Hunted

Sunday felt off. Right from the beginning, I just "had a feeling" about today's journey that didn't sit right with me. Not prone to these feelings, I generally at least take notice, which I did, but decided to write it off as unwarranted fear and get my hiney moving.

My plan today was to access the West Fork Camp Ground, a trail camp, via the Silver Moccasin Trail off the Angeles Crest Highway. It would be a short hike (3.8 miles), but I was more interested in practicing setting bird traps than I was in the hike, so that was intentional.

I'm really having fun learning about survival skills, and I'm a big believer in learning by doing. Thus, although any bird I catch, I will set free, as trapping is illegal, I just want to know what I've been taught would work should I ever have the need to really use it. I had pre-cut dozens of sticks with the intention of finishing up the trimming down here, making the triggers and adding the finishing touches. They hung from my back like long pieces of kindling, all bundled up in a horizontal roll. My pack was a bit wider as a result, and as I hit many trees along the path going down, I was noisier than usual.

Someday I envision living in the wild for a bit. Someday I'd like to put these skills to the test.

I arrived at the trailhead at 2:30 pm. I figured worst case scenario, I'd get to the camp site by 4:30, make my traps (which still needed a lot of work), set up camp and get some sleep.I started my hike down the trail, getting down about 800 meters, when I realized I hadn't yet let anyone know where I was going. There are lots of things negotiable about my escapades, but this is not one of them. Add to that the fact that there were a few signs warning me not to disturb the vegetation, and that odd feeling crept up on me again. I've been out on a dozen hikes now, and I'd never seen these signs. 

Was the trail closed? Did this mean I should simply avoid the plants? I was a bit perplexed.

Vainly, I tried to get a cell signal, but to no avail, so I headed back up the hill to my car, so I could drive back down the mountain a bit.

The Hahamonga Cultural Center sits at the corner of Red Box/Mt.Wilson Rd. and the Angeles Crest Highway. Eddie, the purveyor is an affable man, who knows the area as well as anybody. He sells maps and gatorade and provides free advice on the trails in the area. I used the payphone outside of here to call a friend with hiking plans, and asked Eddie about the signs.  "Just stay on the trail", he advised. "That's all those signs mean."

Good. I thought. At least I won't arrive on Monday morning back from my hike to an angry ranger admonishing me.

I got back in my car and headed back to the trailhead. It was now a little after 3pm.  I figured I'd be in camp by 5:00--still plenty of time to get my work done.

The trail was beautiful and, as usual, I was the only one there. It wound through loads of newly grown grass, made present by our recent unusual Fall rainfall. Wow, what a paradise! Parts of the trail, per usual, were overgrown, even more so due to the presence of more young grass. It appeared one other person had been here over the weekend, however, as some of the grass was mashed down making the trail a bit easier to follow than it would be otherwise.

There were several wild cherry trees (bushes) still plump with loads of ripe cherries for the taking. Clearly some local bears were enjoying them too, as I saw piles of fairly recent bear poop.

I continued down the mountain for about a mile. More bear poop. In the span of the next mile, I saw 7 piles of bear poop in various stages of decay. Due to the fact that we'd had some recent heavier rains, the fact that all the cherry pits were still assembled in a loose-knit pile left me believing none of these piles were more than a few weeks old. Maybe I was following a bear trail. Maybe all that mashed down grass wasn't created by a human at all.

Clearly bears lived down here, and likely more than one.

And blackberries! When Springtime comes, I am gathering a bevy of my friends with buckets and coming back here. Nearly every trail I've been on (except the very high ones) have some blackberries, but I have literally never seen so many blackberry bushes in my life in one place! No wonder the bears like it here! Wild cherries, berries, water, grasses and dense underbrush. Bear heaven.

My wide-load stick pack must've brushed up against a Yucca tree. Suddenly what sounded like a dozen rattlesnakes shocked me to attention. Oy vey! The seed pods were just rattling. I hate these false alarms. They're so unnerving!

As I got to the bottom of the mountain, I crossed a small creek bed with a bit of water. The trail started to become lost then found. I kept following it down until it dead-ended at the bottom of the mountain, in a valley, in a dry creek. 

I started boulder hopping trying to find the trail. Crap! My wide-load stick pack was a bit cumbersome, but I managed.

The creek bed was about 8 feet wide with a 15 foot cliff face on one side and a more gradual climb up the other side of the mountain on the other. There were downed trees at regular intervals, forcing me to climb over or under them to get through. The mashed down grass which I was following became harder to find. Seeming trails were everywhere, but none lead me to where I wanted to go.

A rock about the size of a baseball dropped over my left shoulder.  There was an animal up there.

I've learned to be alert, listen and watch. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I looked up that precipice for a few minutes, silent. Nothing.

I proceeded down the ravine, the dry creek bed. Another 50 feet and there was a loud crash not 15 feet from me. Something had either just landed there in the tall grass or had pushed a very large boulder over the edge. The brush was thick. There were downed trees. Something could be that close to me yet still remain camouflaged.

I was now certain I was being hunted.

Not seeing anything specific, I made myself as large as possible and yelled out the loudest biggest yell I could muster. "Yaaaaaaaah!" I stood there, frozen, looking. My eyes scanned the area. I was on full alert, heavy breathing, adrenaline coursing through my veins. Part of me wanted to go closer to where the rock fell out of sheer curiosity, but the saner side of me said, "Get the Hell Out!".

I pulled out my bear spray and readied the trigger. I scanned the area for definite signs of what it was. Nothing.

I slowly backed away from the area, my eyes darting back and forth across the area in front of me. I felt like a cop on one of those TV shows when they're trying to keep from getting killed by the bad guy.

I backed over the log I had just crossed. Still nothing. I kept backing away.

I backed up that trail a full 1/4 mile watching, looking, then I finally turned and hurried away. I still took a cursory glance over my shoulder every 20 feet or so until I was a full mile away.

That was the most scared I've ever been.

When I got back, I set about to finish making my bird traps, and I did some research on mountain lion hunting behavior. No bear would hunt me that way. Bears attack when provoked or when they're in fear for their young. Mountain lions stalk and silently hunt.

All that bear poop had me ready for a bear encounter. I wasn't even thinking about a lion.

I found this video which I believe is telling. You cannot even see the mountain lion even though it is less than 50 feet away. Even as it approaches, without the telephoto lens, it would be invisible.

I watched another video of a girl who was being stalked while hunting elk. She wound up shooting the lion point blank from 5 feet away. Then there was the lion who despite the man's stern protestations to back off, kept coming forward. It's their nature. Ultimately it did not attack and turned around.

I think it's time to get a gun.