I love the wilderness. There is something about being in nature that thrills me like nothing else on this Earth. I've heard it said that nature is God's anti-depressant, and I couldn't agree more, and as much as I love sharing nature with good friends, I also ADORE being out in the wilderness entirely alone.
I love being alone. It gives me time to clear my head, to think my own thoughts and to distill the day or week's events. Alone time recharges me from the wonderful workdays I have filled with loads of amazing people, whom I also truly adore and truly love spending time with. In fact, the dichotomy of being around so many people during the week and getting to spend time alone on the weekend, for me has enabled me to strike what I feel is a perfect balance.
I don't spend every weekend solo, nor would I want to. However, every third weekend or so, I crave being able to venture into the wilderness alone. This past weekend I got to do just that.
I found the most amazing campground ever just a three hour hike outside of Los Angeles, and yes, I'm going to give it away in the hopes that some of you might decide to check it out for yourself. It is Mt. Pacifico. Whoa! Of course the thing I liked the best about it, besides the amazing views, was the fact that I had the entire campground of about 9 sites entirely to myself. Having this much space to oneself in this crazy city and in this day and time is nothing short of heaven.
To access Mt. Pacifico, just drive up the Angeles Crest Highway past the Monte Cristo campground all the way up until you get to Mill Creek Summit picnic area. There are a few pit toilets there as well as a place to leave your car. Of course contribute to the forest service and make sure you have your Adventure Pass hanging from your car's mirror. This hike is along the famous Pacific Crest Trail, so it is very well maintained and breathtakingly beautiful. As much as I was hoping to see signs of bear along the way, all I saw was an abundance of what I believe to be coyote scat (basing this assumption off pics I found in the marvelous book by Mark Elbroch, "Mammal Tracks & Sign").
Nevertheless, this campground had bear proof trash cans, which leads me to think that at least one bear has likely been sited here. Don't get me wrong, although I secretly would love to see a bear, I also know they are dangerous and can be deadly. I always hope for a siting in which I can observe from afar rather than one in which I have to fear for my life!
Once you get on the trail, it's almost exactly 3 hours to the top if you maintain a steady pace, and there is a 2214 foot elevation gain, so it's not for folks who never train their aerobic system. Just about one mile from the campground, you'll come to a turn off, but it's really well marked. Head one last mile all the way up a fire road, and you'll dead end at the Mt. Pacifico Campground, which has a 360 degree view of the surrounding mountains. At night, you can see city lights also from several sides.
There are loads of huge boulders up there, which make for some interesting campsites, and there are horse rails, in case you want to bring your horse.
I no longer bring a lighter with me when I go on one of these expeditions. This week I opted for a simple ferro rod. Truth be told though, because the LA Basin is so dry, it was really way too easy to get a fire going, which lead me to deciding that moving forward I'm going to go bow drill or nothing when it comes to keeping my skills sharp.
Everything up there was dry, dry, dry. I gathered some grasses and dead pine branches with needles still afixed, and just a few strokes of my ferro rod had a nice fire going. As I am still leery of bears, I built a nice sized fire using loads of dead wood I found and settled in for the night. My thoughts were reeling! I am sitting upon the precipice of my next adventure, the one I've been planning and training for for over a year now, and I get to start it in less than three week's time.
I no longer feel guilty about going. I have worked my ass off for years to set myself up, so I can do things like this. I have a stupendous staff and coaches who care about our gym as much as I do.
I marvel at the sunset. I think about life. I think about God and about how I am glad I feel it's presence in my life again. I break down crying when I realize that Sigma III Survival School for me, was nothing short of a spiritual awakening experience. I think about my friends who are religious. I long to ask my Christian and Muslim friends what it is they find in their faith that comforts them. I long to ask them if they truly feel their faith is truly the "only" way. I wonder how I would feel if any of them answered yes to that question, which is why I prefer to remain outside any one religion, as I believe that God is all, not limited to some, not sectioned off to those of one faith versus those of another. I think of all the craziness in the world right now. I think of the people on Facebook who seemed determine to choose sides, to hate, to fear.
I wonder out loud what would happen if everyone just decided to choose good.
I talk out loud to myself. I spend the entire evening in conversation listening to myself think. I realize I hear myself better when I am speaking out loud, yet doing so in public places is kind of weird and frowned upon. I know this is one of the many reasons why I have to come here, to places like this, so I can hear my own thoughts. I think my thoughts come to me for some reason. I think it is important that I listen to myself.
I decide to sing.
I used to have a truly amazing singing voice, because honestly, I used to practice all of the time. However, in life, we all must choose to edit. We cannot be all things to all people. We cannot be good at everything, nor do everything, nor have everything. We must choose. We must edit.
As my life has taken on the joyous flavor of getting to lead and coach others in weightlifting and CrossFit, I do not regret no longer practicing my song, but tonight, I decide I'm going to push past my now gravely voice (made so from so much talking loudly in my classes) and give it the old college try.
I sing Maria McKee and Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell and Kate Bush at the top of my voice. I laugh as my voice cracks and my notes are off key. I am joyous. I am reveling in the beauty that is around me. I find myself embarrassed just a little, lest someone be approaching and thinking I am odd. I find it amusing that I worry at all about that stuff, when I am all alone, but social conditioning is not something one can break free of in one night.
I sing Christina Aguilera and I wish I knew some Lucinda Williams. I think now my voice would be best suited for her songs. I am having a great time. I am truly enjoying my own company.
Before the blackness envelops me, I gather loads and loads of firewood. Lengthy dried branches from dead trees are easy pickings, so long as I am willing to haul their ten foot spindly bodies to my site. I make a make-shift fence with all of them around my campsite, so at least I'll have fair warning, should a bear decide to check out my tent during the night. I sit on a huge rock, suddenly aware that if a mountain lion decided to have me for dinner, I am an easy target. I decide to f**k fear and sit there anyway.
I decide that I am not a squirrel. No, I am a mountain lion.
When I was at Sigma III, we played a silly game. In total violation of any Indian credo, our guide, leader, third-blood American Indian who hated the idea of spirit animals, bucked the stupidity inherent in white people assigning each other such and decided to playfully assign all of us spirit animals anyway (entirely in jest). When he got to me, he paused, seemingly deeply having considered what he was going to assign me.
After what seemed an eternity, he labeled me a fox.
I wish I'd asked him why a a fox, because I don't know much about foxes. We all joked about assigning me the cougar status, since I'm an older woman. After he said that I was a fox, I piped up that I thought I was more likely a squirrel. Fastidious, a planner, even though it was unsexy, I just felt in that moment that it suited me best. He decided that was fine and went with it.
When I first started my adventures just over a year ago, being killed by a mountain lion was a very real fear. When I wrote about my journeys, one of my female friends for whom I have great admiration gave me the moniker "woman who walks with mountain lions". I don't think I quite felt worthy of that then, but I think I do now. Last night, I decided I am worthy of walking with mountain lions, and so continues my quest.
In less than 3 week's time, I head back to Missouri (because it's just so dang beautiful in a different way there, and because the climate is a much different challenge and because I have a great place to stay in which to do my next thing, and because my Canada trip fell through). I'll be staying in a tiny cabin for the first 45 days. It has no running water, no electricity, and no plumbing. I plan to practice trapping, build another bow, practice archery, practice shooting, further hone my plant identification skills, hopefully kill something large enough that I can tan the hide and smoke the meat, build a teepee, experiment with different types of shelters, hopefully kill and eat some snakes (there are lots there), hopefully make flour from some of the grasses, practice bow drill daily, as well as take another flint knapping class, so I can make more arrowheads for more arrows I plan to use to train with.
I also plan to bring a non-electric typewriter to continue working on the book I am writing about my Sigma III experience.
For the second half of the trip, I plan to live solely off the land, near a creek entirely alone. If you've ever watched the show, "Alone" (which I only heard of during my Sigma III adventure and am now totally hooked on), you'll know what I will be up against. The main differences will be that my main sources of food will not come from the sea, but rather probably mainly armadillos, frogs, snakes and maybe an occasional turtle if all else fails. (No one wants to kill a turtle!)
It is spiritual out there. That is what I know I will get to experience. When I come back, I know I will have deeper insights into what is next for me in this life. Big decisions are on the horizon, and I am looking forward to seeing to where I am being lead.
I can't wait!
Go Adventure Woman!
I am preparing for a 6 month journey on a not-so-well-traveled path. These are my adventures leading up to (and eventually including) that journey.
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Hunting Wascally Jack Wabbit
The rabbit's soft fur entranced me. I petted the pelt, stroking its beigey tan backside and marveling at the black tail. I'd kept the black ears too. They were what I first noticed silhouetted against the very sky blue sky. Mr. Jack Rabbit had been my first kill, the first animal I'd shot with my less-than-a-year old Ruger .22 take-down rifle.
I'd brought the rifle along for the ride..just in case. I knew hunting was legal in Carrizo Plains National Monument, so I figured "what the heck." I'd been dying to get my first kill out of the way. It was far less painful emotionally than I had imagined. I think the road-kill squirrel I dressed recently had been more mentally draining. Then, fragile from the guilt I felt at even contemplating hunting, carving up roadkill still left me unnerved. No, this time, I was exhilarated honestly and very ready for the hunt.
Mr. Jack Rabbit sat atop a moderate sized grassy hill amidst hills and hills of rolling grassland and yellow sunflowers and purple filaree and orange poppies. Dan and I had walked along the lone dirt road for less than a mile, my gun in tow just in case. When I saw Mr. Jack Rabbit, he stood still, frozen, his eyes watching us. Did he not know how obvious he was against the sky? Did he seriously think we couldn't see him?
My gun has a habit of jamming right when I need it.
On my first outing when I was hoping to shoot a squirrel, I fumbled with it for five whole minutes before I got the thing to lock down for the ready. This time Dan fumbled with it. I'm sure he thought he'd know more about how to get it to work, since he is a man. He didn't. I smirked. I knew it wasn't just me. The gun goes into the shop the moment I return. It's had this problem for a while now, and it's only getting worse.
After what seemed like eternity, the gun was cocked and ready. I steadied it against my cheek and took careful aim for his head. I wanted to make this quick and easy, so I aimed for his eye.
Pow.
The gun went off, and like that, he was dead. No suffering, no rabbit screams like my pet rabbit, Baz used to do when I took him out on his leash and an airplane flew overhead. No, one shot, my first shot, my only shot and Mr. Jack Rabbit lay listless atop the hill. The sun shone down upon him, and I said a little prayer thanking the universe for the clean kill and the meal I was going to enjoy that night.
Dan and I high-fived, as we trudged up the hill, grinning, celebrating my first official hunting kill. How should I pose? Should I hold him by the ears, the feet? Should I smile or look serious or should I feign shame?
I posed in the traditional pose, holding the rabbit by the ears, grinning wildly, my rifle held in my opposing hand, its butt by my feet. We took several pictures, mostly for our friends not on Facebook.
We walked back to the car, silently. Dan held my hand. We'd been together for many years, and I'd moved out multiple times. I'm moved out now, but I still cherish the man. He is still my best friend, and for that I am grateful. Although I would like to potentially date, it seems foolhardy to do so when you know you're going to be leaving for most of the rest of the year. I just don't know.
Back at the campsite, we began the grueling process of slicing around the anus, horizontally across the thighs, then up to the sternum. I continued the knife cut up to the throat, then sliced the throat along the jaw to open it up to the windpipe. I severed the windpipe, pulling the guts out. The stomach, liver and heart lay in a blob at my knees. I grabbed the rabbit's heart. "I am going to eat this first", I thought. It's a small way to honor him. As someone who genuinely believes that energy simply changes form once someone dies, I don't think of death as permanent. To me, Mr. Jack Rabbit's essence now permeates something or maybe someone else now. I do not mourn, because I do not see death as worth of mourning. Sure, we can miss the people who have dropped their spirits, but believing that part lives on gives me some comfort.
Skinning him was far easier than skinning the squirrel had been. His pelt came off in one fell swoop. It was soft. I planned to make slippers with it.
I thought of Mr. Jack Rabbit's life. Had he lived a long time? Did he have a wife and kids? How long had he lived in this beautiful piece of heaven? I wondered what his days were like. Did he dream? Had he gone to rabbit heaven? Had he had a chance to fuck before he died?
As I pulled off the skin from the meat, Dan and I discussed our limited option for gourmet rabbit fare. I'd brought salt and lemon-pepper. Dousing the skin in a fine crust of both, we put him on a spit, lit a fire and opted for a slow roast. About an hour and a half later, the tangy meat pulled easily from the bone. As the sun set across the rolling flowery vista, we both sat on our campsite logs grateful for our lives.
It had been a very good day.
Pow! The gun went off, the bullet whizzed by the rabbit's head. It was not one even inch away! Yet Mr. Jack Rabbit stood frozen, stiff, still, not moving. I couldn't believe it! I couldn't believe I'd been granted an opportunity at a second shot. I took aim again. This time I put my sights on his heart. The 3/4 view I'd been given seemed perfect for that. It's bigger area, I'd hoped, would give me a better chance of success.
Pow! This time I missed by about a foot. Mr. Jack Rabbit took off running. Dan and I pursued. He ran around the corner through the ravine and disappeared. Undeterred, Dan and I slowly walked through the small valley looking under each bush, rattling them as we passed. Dan rattled one bush, and Mr. Jack Rabbit took off up the opposing hillside, disappearing. We followed him up the hill, tossing rocks at each bush. After about 20 minutes, we came across a large rabbit hole. We figured he'd run to this known safe place and escaped.
Mr. Jack Rabbit got away.
The entire fantasy I had of my first kill was gone. No slippers, no heart, no pelt, no dinner. Yet, the thrill of the hunt had been deeply satisfying and a bonafide blast. Since I'd only shot my gun at a range which allows only one shot every 2 seconds, I'd never yet used the semi-automatic feature of my rifle. If I had, my fantasy of Mr. Jack Rabbit would more than this tall tale.
Saturday, March 12, 2016
A Walk Home in the Snow
This is a rewrite of the second part of an earlier blog entitled, "Preserving Fire Through Gail Force Winds, Rain and Snow". I felt that I did not capture the beauty and truth I felt on the walk back down the mountain that night via my writing.
Doing the adventures is a blast, but I'm also finding a great challenge in writing about them afterward. I try to find ways to capture the adventure that is both compelling and educational. Here's a better attempt.
I was tired. I was wet. I was cold.
My plans of maintaining a fire at all cost during the catacylsmic rainfall I'd been arguing with over the last 11 hours had taken its toll. My sleeping bags were soaked, my clothing was soaked, my wood was soaked, and now snow covered the ground. Even though my weak fire had dared not sputter, I had sacrificed all semblance of sanity by protecting it over my warm clothes. Now I sat shivering and realizing I had but one choice. I had to leave, tonight.
Staying here shrouded in my dripping bags and crinkly silver emergency blanket next to a fire I'd have to stoke all night long sounded exactly the opposite of intelligent. I'd just scored 130 on an IQ test. Maybe I ought to put that demonstration of brilliant logic to use.
Donning my headlamp over my funky red sweater cap in the pitch black of night, I cut down all of the now frozen para-cord. Its heavy weightiness made folding it up awkard and tedious. It lay like cold al dente linguine in my hands--thick and icy, bending unnaturally against itself as I wrapped it up. My new-as-of-yesterday-tarp, now torn in multiple places and much heavier due to the ice encrusted all over it, could in no way be forced to regain the meticulously seemingly-ironed-flat folded shape it had when I purchased it. It now resembled more of a giant fitted sheet whom someone had given up on folding and just wadded up into an impatient ball. Bungee cords wrapped tightly around it enabled it to smashed down just enough to fix it to my pack.
I stuffed my water-logged wet clothes and sodden sleeping bags into their respective pouches. I donned my now dry socks and now pretty dry boots, which I'd valiantly placed next to my fire after I saturated them fighting 60 mph winds to keep up my giant super tent. I put back on my still wet, but pretty warm down jacket, my still wet fingerless gloves, my second hat and my ski pants and prepared for a long 4 mile trek back down the mountain.
The pack, now weighing in at 57# (I weighed it when I got back. It was only 40# when I left), was nearly impossible to put on. Although I truly love my Osprey women's heavy duty pack, it really is nearly impossible to put on alone without something high like a picnic table to set it on. Well, there was nothing remotely close nearby, so I had to figure out another way.
I lay the pack on it's back, the side where my back goes, beckoning me with its open spongy "hip hugging" arms with "back saving" technology. I laid into it and strapped myself in. Rolling onto my belly, I got on my knees, then leaning heavy onto my trekking poles, righted myself up with a huge heave. Once standing, the pack's heavy weight, evenly distributed, seemed fine.
I set off along the snow dusted path into the void of night, saying goodbye to the freshly painted sign post marking campsite #11.
There was snow everywhere. Only 3000 feet up from the City of Los Angeles, I was blessed to be here observing nature as only a few ever cared to dare.
The white snow was lulling in its beauty. I intently hoped the path would still be easy to follow, but I had no idea. I decided early on that if anything about this dark downhill journey seemed to put my life in danger, I would turn back, set up camp and wait it out. Fortunately, I was faced with no such decision.
I knew the first half of the trail, about 2 miles, would be uphill and the second half all down. The downhill on the snow concerned me, but I'd have to decide that when I got there. It couldn't be worse than fighting freezing to death by staying here would be. As I trekked up the hill, the sandy path revealed itself--naked. The snow did not cling there. I was grateful.
Heading up the mountain the day before had taken me 2.5 hours to cover just over 4 miles. I'd come across ONE crossing which I considered a bit scary, a tree branch hung over the trail, making passing it precarious. A fall would send a hiker tumbling down potentially to their death. I knew I'd have to pass this again on my way up. I vowed to be super careful, but I had no idea what I was in for.
It would take me 3.5 hours to get back.
Wow! The heavy winds and rains had done great damage to the trail. I came across 3 huge branches, their spindly snow-covered fingers grasping tightly to the hillside, as they blocked my path. I picked up each 8 foot long section, tumbling it down the mountainside to clear the way. The sticky fingers seemed determined not to let go, but my determination was greater than theirs, and I prevailed. They lay lifeless, now on the other side of the trail, yearning to pull me down with them, even angry I had dared to invade their space. Beckoning, I left them wanting, and I pressed on.
Bobcat tracks preceded me. I'd guessed they were bobcat because of the 4 asymetrical toes and the 3 tiered heel pad. Later upon perusing my tracking books, then attending a tracking class, I was sure I was right. The freshly sown prints lead my way for almost the entire first 2 miles. "What was he hunting?", I thought, and I wondered if he was enjoying the snow. I never saw the bobcat, though I hoped I might.
Downed tree #2 crossed the trail. This was an entire full grown pine tree, its huge trunk thoroughly blocking the path alongside many of its spindly branches still attached. It's 2.5 foot circumference gave me one choice, to go over it, as it was too close to the ground to go under. As I looked at the angle in which it lead down the mountainside, with an inch of powder covering its length, I had visions of straddling the snow-covered tree only to slide down it to my death. I opted instead to remove my pack and go separately. Heaving my super-heavy pack over, I climbed over the massive trunk to the other side. Laying on my back to once again don the crazy thing, I righted myself with my trekking poles and continued on my way. I hoped there wouldn't be too many more of these.
No such luck. I wound up either having to cross over, belly under or remove a total of 10 trees and or branches from the path on the way back. I decided if I felt it necessary, I would leave my pack behind to retrieve in the morning. I never felt it necessary.
I approached the backside of Strawberry Peak. It stood as a massive black silhouette against the dark and starry sky. Its very blackness blocking out any semblance of there ever being a city on the other side. It seemed very far away, but I saw the pass through to the valley clearly, and I pressed on. The bobcat tracks were still guiding me.
Streams where there was before zero water, crossed the path. I gingerly crossed them, not wanting to get my boots wet. The water in my water bottle began to freeze. The tips of my fingers felt a little cold. I felt plenty warm though, and indeed my spirits were high.
As I got to the top of the mountain pass, the lights of the City lay far across many valleys before me. I still had a long way to go, and I was already almost 2 hours in. Rounding the corner, the winds picked up tremendously. I was grateful they were pressing me into the mountain rather than away from it, as otherwise, I'd likely have to abort or leave my pack behind. The snow was sent into spiraling flutters, as my hats blew off my head into the mountainside. Backtracking, I was able to retrieve them without thankfully having to undo my pack.
The dusty snow, still powder, and thankfully not ice lay below my feet. Mainly covering just outside the actual path, it stood as a reminder of the cold.
I forged on.
The bobcat no longer accompanied me.
Periodically, when traveling at night, I've learned to put my headlamp on bright and scan the area. Two little lights peering back at me indicate an animal. All night, I had seen none. Now deep in the caverns of the valley below, two eyes peered back at me, watching.
I howled. Nothing howled back.
I kept along the trail keeping my eye on the animal. Its gaze followed me, but it in no way seemed interested in a pursuit. I figured it was likely a coyote.
I kept moving.
Boredom and weariness crept in. I started to make up songs in my head and sing them out loud. "I love the snow, oh look at it blow" and "all night long I love to hike, it makes me happy, like riding a bike". I rotated back and forth between singing them over and over and counting my steps. Counting my steps gives my mind something to do when boredom creeps in. It keeps me from focusing on how far I still have to go or whether or not the road is going to be closed or whether or not that coyote is following me.
Another massive tree blocked my path. The mere size of its nearly 4 foot in diameter trunk would've made it impossible to crawl over, and going up the steep slippery mountainside from whence it came was out of the question. I had no choice but to slide on my belly underneath it, despite the shallow tunnel it made. When I got to the other side, my crazy mashed-up-tarp-mess was lopsided. It bounced when I walked and wobbled, forcing me to create awkwardly spaced tracks like that of a drunkard. As I walked and the wind blew me sideways, I had to stop and fix it. One misstep with this unbalanced load, and I'd join the recent spate of hikers lost over the edge.
After readjusting the pack and tightening it up, I laid on my back again to reload my heavy pack. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Realizing I still had another mile to go, I stepped up my song and my step. My fingers were slightly numb now, and I longed to get home. I dreamed of In N' Out and a warm dry bed. I'd order my usual--a Double Double protein style, no onions, extra pickles, an order of fries, no ketchup, two salts and a cup of water no ice. The thought of it gave me comfort. I thought about the benefits living in society brings.
As I finished the trek and got to my car, I was grateful the roads hadn't been closed. Someone had clearly been concerned for me, however, as the passenger side's window had been wiped of snow. Although I'd left my Adventure Pass in plain sight, I hadn't quite felt comfortable leaving my plans on the dash. Funny, but I'm more afraid someone will take that opportunity to break into my car than I am afraid of being in the wilderness all alone.
The lights to the house near the Hahamonga Cultural Center were on, and I wondered if the purveyor could see I was okay. I figured he'd figure it out the next morning, and I got in to drive away.
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Listening to the Universe through Cougar Scat
On July 21 last year, I felt fear and did it anyway.
After another hot Summer which followed the year in which we had no winter (literally, we had one cold month in October, then it was warm enough to wear shorts all Winter long), it rained.
That Thursday, it gushed rains, the promise of the gods we'd all been praying to for the better part of the last four years as drought went from sorta kinda to serious panic. This was the kind of drought in which you don't even get to legally water your lawn except two days a week, and they give you a fine if they catch you watering more. (Fuck your roses!) It had not yet reached the stage where it is today, where you really aren't allowed to water your lawn, as in the El Nino we all counted on, so far has been a huge small bust, and now there's real concern in the air that we might truly have to do something about it. (Can you imagine a life with no lawns?)
Anyway, last year in July after the first rain that Summer, I set out on my first ever solo adventure. The recent rain lent an air of hopefulness and a sense of foreboding. We'd all been warned of an enormous El Nino year, but the gushing inundation of water flooding our searingly dry drains was a long overdue and welcome sight. Having recently finished the best fiction I'd read in a long time,"Wild", about a girl who finds herself by solo hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, I too decided I was going to set out on some sort of wacky adventurous path.
I didn't want to do the Pacific Crest Trail, however, because face it. Now that the magnificent book has been made into a popular lame-ass horribly disjointed movie, throngs of young women (and men) were now rushing to do the PCT as an act of finding out who they really are. The once rarely touched landscape had become as clogged as some of their acne-laden pores. True. I had been compelled by "Wild" to go searching too, but I wanted to do something different--something more off the beaten path.--something that would scare the shit out of me. Something that felt more true.
My original plan was to re-do Andrew Skurka's Great Western Loop , so I set out to do regular weekend hikes to prepare myself for what lay ahead. Andrew Skurka "is most well known for his solo long-distance backpacking trips, notably the 4,700-mile 6-month Alaska-Yukon Expedition, the 6,875-mile 7-month Great Western Loop, and the 7,775-mile 11-month Sea-to-Sea Route. In total, he has backpacked, skied, and packrafted 30,000+ miles through many of the world’s most prized backcountry and wilderness areas—the equivalent of traveling 1.2 times around Earth’s equator! He is the author of The Ultimate Hiker’s Gear Guide: Tools & Tips to Hit the Trail and guides about 15 trips per year under his company."
I knew it was a long shot, but for some reason I am drawn to trying the world's most difficult things. (Hell, I started a CrossFit gym, didn't I?) The biggest hurdles to overcome would be training my ass off to mimic his blazingly fast hiking speed, ensuring I left at precisely the right time of year assuming the weather cooperated and preparing myself for the rigors of solo hiking for thousands of miles over a span of six months--alone. As I sit here writing this, I must admit, this still sounds like one cool-ass ride.
My life was in turmoil at the time. My long-term relationship had become deeply unsatisfying to me. I was desperately trying to stay sober, and I was going through seriously painful emotional upheaval everywhere. I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life, and through her, I began to make sense of my very loud and pissed off inner voice that had been trapped inside.
My first adventure found me camping in a leaky tent in a torrential flash-flood-kinda rain, and as scared as I was about being eaten by a mountain lion, a snake or a coyote, I loved every freaking minute of it!
After that, I set out on solo adventures every few weeks continuing to purposefully scare and challenge myself.
I saw a dozen wild pigs and had a coyote howl just outside my tent while in Dallas. I got lost on a trail and spent 3 hours hiking back up a mountain an alternate way from Little Fish Fork. I've hiked Condor and Strawberry Peaks seeing nary another soul and only a trickle of water. I spent the night near the Bridge to Nowhere and hiked 20.4 miles in one day from Mt. Baden Powell to Buckhorn Campground including the last 6 miles alone in the dark.
I really didn't know what I was looking for, but I felt compelled to find it. Pushing the boundaries of what terrified me started to wake ME up.
In the meantime, I moved out from my long-term boyfriend, and started facing life solo for the first time in many years, living in a teeny garage apartment to save money and trying to make sense of my life.
One night on a whim, I decided to search "Living in the Wilderness" on the internet. I wound up on an unusual forum with loads of people looking to do just that. Most were kids, many were dreamers, and a few had actually done it. I wound up meeting a thirty-something dude with similar plans, and we just clicked. We both started planning and my life took on a joyeaux de vivre and an urgency I hadn't felt in years.
As a workaholic woman who dearly loves her craft, I had forgotten what it meant to have a hobby, a joy, a passion for something outside of work. Suddenly I was faced with the idea of living in the wilderness with a complete stranger whom I met on the internet, and I loved the audacity of it!
We started planning immediately, conversing back and forth via spreadsheets and Google Drive. We shared You Tube videos on building shelters with subterranean heating systems, videos on animal skinning and stories of bears, He turned me onto Survival Lilly and I turned him onto Sigma III Survival School. We both watched countless videos and discussed their unique challenges and virtues.
I spent Friday nights figuring out the weight of every piece of equipment on our list of items we planned to take, becoming obsessed with this idea and in love with everything about it. For a long time I told no one, because I knew it was pretty far-fetched, and also because I needed to make sure my compadre-in-arms was going to stick around for the ride. As crazy as this adventure sounded, no one but a fool would go out on something like this for the first time alone. My Mom made me make sure he wasn't a stalker. (He's not. He's clean as a whistle, loves his Mom, and is a seriously nice guy.) I told him I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, we've got 20 years between us, and neither of us gives a damn about any or all of that.
Well here we are six months later, and we're both still raring to go. We speak by telephone or chat online regularly (as who wants to commit to living in the wilderness with someone you can't stand), continually run "what if" scenarios by each other, plan for things like hunting permits and seasons, study edible plants, figure out ways to keep our food away from bears, and drill each other on what to do in case of hypothermia. Happily, we both work very hard, and we seem to get along just fine.
The fact that what we are going to attempt is life-threatening lends a unique intensity to our plans. Seriously, we both leave no stone unturned when it comes to ensuring we are prepared for our journey, as we are both aware a mistake could seriously cost us our lives. We're going to be in the northern hemisphere, for god's sake through late Summer, all of Fall and early Winter. It will likely freaking snow.
Since then, each weekend I set a goal. From getting my hunting license to taking multiple wild-edibles classes to building an all-night fire to studying navigation, to target practice with my rifle, not a weekend has gone by since then in which I wasn't fully engrossed in learning something to ensure our success.
My original plan was six months. Now it's five. I'm attending Sigma III Survival School's 40-Day Instructor program in April, where our final test is 5 days alone with nothing but a knife. I figure if I include that, it's still 6 months total to challenge myself with my new survival-skills-for-life. As hard as I'm studying, I'm just not willing to put my ass on the line without seriously investing in the knowledge to succeed, and Sigma III's program is the most comprehensive I've found anywhere.
I don't know what compelled me to this point, but I do wonder sometimes if we aren't guided by some mysterious voice to a particular path. The fact that I found such an excellent colleague lends credence to that.
As I set out today to practice my topographical map-reading, animal tracking and wild edible identification skills, I came across not one, but two piles of what clearly appeared to be mountain lion scat. I pushed the toe of my shoe into one. The telltale signs of animal fur along with the 5" length and 3/4" girth lending credibility to my observation. I found another pile not an eighth of a mile further, so I decided to look for tracks.
Sure enough, there were clear tracks leading off into a side wash, so I decided to follow them for a while. It was fascinating to note how much we miss if we don't learn to read the signs.
Mark Elbroch's book, "Mammal Tracking and Sign" with its amazing photos of tracks of nearly every animal one might come across in the wilderness along with numerous photos of their scat, seemed to lend authority to my thoughts, but I'm far from an expert here.
This cat was big. The length from the hind foot to the next hind foot was nearly 4 feet long, and the paw prints were roughly 3.5" wide. Knowing from the multiple stories I've read that cats rarely kill humans and flee from nearly anyone who fights back, I pulled out my machete just in case. After following the tracks for about 150 meters, I stopped, as they lead up a crevice which would've been hard for me to climb. Add to that the fact that I didn't really want to rustle this thing into a confrontation, and I decided to turn around.
When I first got sober, I joined a group called HSM (www.hellosundaymorning.org). A woman there, whom I befriended, supported my adventures and my stories. She christened me with the moniker "Woman Who Walks with Mountain Lions" after I shared the story of my first adventure there and how afraid I was of being eaten by one.
It's amazing how far I have come.
I used to walk slowly on every trail looking at every cranny in a mountain's face fearful I might be attacked at any moment. Now I know I'll never see one coming anyway, so I don't even bother. But I have to admit, much like running into an artist or someone you're really crazy about, I still think it would be really cool to get a live glimpse of something that I truly admire.
Mountain lions represent much of what in the wilderness draws me--a sense of danger, a sense of the unknown and a sense of adventure. Here's to living a large and daring life full of mountain lions to set your imagination on fire.
.
After another hot Summer which followed the year in which we had no winter (literally, we had one cold month in October, then it was warm enough to wear shorts all Winter long), it rained.
That Thursday, it gushed rains, the promise of the gods we'd all been praying to for the better part of the last four years as drought went from sorta kinda to serious panic. This was the kind of drought in which you don't even get to legally water your lawn except two days a week, and they give you a fine if they catch you watering more. (Fuck your roses!) It had not yet reached the stage where it is today, where you really aren't allowed to water your lawn, as in the El Nino we all counted on, so far has been a huge small bust, and now there's real concern in the air that we might truly have to do something about it. (Can you imagine a life with no lawns?)
Anyway, last year in July after the first rain that Summer, I set out on my first ever solo adventure. The recent rain lent an air of hopefulness and a sense of foreboding. We'd all been warned of an enormous El Nino year, but the gushing inundation of water flooding our searingly dry drains was a long overdue and welcome sight. Having recently finished the best fiction I'd read in a long time,"Wild", about a girl who finds herself by solo hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, I too decided I was going to set out on some sort of wacky adventurous path.
I didn't want to do the Pacific Crest Trail, however, because face it. Now that the magnificent book has been made into a popular lame-ass horribly disjointed movie, throngs of young women (and men) were now rushing to do the PCT as an act of finding out who they really are. The once rarely touched landscape had become as clogged as some of their acne-laden pores. True. I had been compelled by "Wild" to go searching too, but I wanted to do something different--something more off the beaten path.--something that would scare the shit out of me. Something that felt more true.
My original plan was to re-do Andrew Skurka's Great Western Loop , so I set out to do regular weekend hikes to prepare myself for what lay ahead. Andrew Skurka "is most well known for his solo long-distance backpacking trips, notably the 4,700-mile 6-month Alaska-Yukon Expedition, the 6,875-mile 7-month Great Western Loop, and the 7,775-mile 11-month Sea-to-Sea Route. In total, he has backpacked, skied, and packrafted 30,000+ miles through many of the world’s most prized backcountry and wilderness areas—the equivalent of traveling 1.2 times around Earth’s equator! He is the author of The Ultimate Hiker’s Gear Guide: Tools & Tips to Hit the Trail and guides about 15 trips per year under his company."
I knew it was a long shot, but for some reason I am drawn to trying the world's most difficult things. (Hell, I started a CrossFit gym, didn't I?) The biggest hurdles to overcome would be training my ass off to mimic his blazingly fast hiking speed, ensuring I left at precisely the right time of year assuming the weather cooperated and preparing myself for the rigors of solo hiking for thousands of miles over a span of six months--alone. As I sit here writing this, I must admit, this still sounds like one cool-ass ride.
My life was in turmoil at the time. My long-term relationship had become deeply unsatisfying to me. I was desperately trying to stay sober, and I was going through seriously painful emotional upheaval everywhere. I started seeing a therapist for the first time in my life, and through her, I began to make sense of my very loud and pissed off inner voice that had been trapped inside.
My first adventure found me camping in a leaky tent in a torrential flash-flood-kinda rain, and as scared as I was about being eaten by a mountain lion, a snake or a coyote, I loved every freaking minute of it!
After that, I set out on solo adventures every few weeks continuing to purposefully scare and challenge myself.
I saw a dozen wild pigs and had a coyote howl just outside my tent while in Dallas. I got lost on a trail and spent 3 hours hiking back up a mountain an alternate way from Little Fish Fork. I've hiked Condor and Strawberry Peaks seeing nary another soul and only a trickle of water. I spent the night near the Bridge to Nowhere and hiked 20.4 miles in one day from Mt. Baden Powell to Buckhorn Campground including the last 6 miles alone in the dark.
I really didn't know what I was looking for, but I felt compelled to find it. Pushing the boundaries of what terrified me started to wake ME up.
In the meantime, I moved out from my long-term boyfriend, and started facing life solo for the first time in many years, living in a teeny garage apartment to save money and trying to make sense of my life.
One night on a whim, I decided to search "Living in the Wilderness" on the internet. I wound up on an unusual forum with loads of people looking to do just that. Most were kids, many were dreamers, and a few had actually done it. I wound up meeting a thirty-something dude with similar plans, and we just clicked. We both started planning and my life took on a joyeaux de vivre and an urgency I hadn't felt in years.
As a workaholic woman who dearly loves her craft, I had forgotten what it meant to have a hobby, a joy, a passion for something outside of work. Suddenly I was faced with the idea of living in the wilderness with a complete stranger whom I met on the internet, and I loved the audacity of it!
We started planning immediately, conversing back and forth via spreadsheets and Google Drive. We shared You Tube videos on building shelters with subterranean heating systems, videos on animal skinning and stories of bears, He turned me onto Survival Lilly and I turned him onto Sigma III Survival School. We both watched countless videos and discussed their unique challenges and virtues.
I spent Friday nights figuring out the weight of every piece of equipment on our list of items we planned to take, becoming obsessed with this idea and in love with everything about it. For a long time I told no one, because I knew it was pretty far-fetched, and also because I needed to make sure my compadre-in-arms was going to stick around for the ride. As crazy as this adventure sounded, no one but a fool would go out on something like this for the first time alone. My Mom made me make sure he wasn't a stalker. (He's not. He's clean as a whistle, loves his Mom, and is a seriously nice guy.) I told him I wasn't looking for a boyfriend, we've got 20 years between us, and neither of us gives a damn about any or all of that.
Well here we are six months later, and we're both still raring to go. We speak by telephone or chat online regularly (as who wants to commit to living in the wilderness with someone you can't stand), continually run "what if" scenarios by each other, plan for things like hunting permits and seasons, study edible plants, figure out ways to keep our food away from bears, and drill each other on what to do in case of hypothermia. Happily, we both work very hard, and we seem to get along just fine.
The fact that what we are going to attempt is life-threatening lends a unique intensity to our plans. Seriously, we both leave no stone unturned when it comes to ensuring we are prepared for our journey, as we are both aware a mistake could seriously cost us our lives. We're going to be in the northern hemisphere, for god's sake through late Summer, all of Fall and early Winter. It will likely freaking snow.
Since then, each weekend I set a goal. From getting my hunting license to taking multiple wild-edibles classes to building an all-night fire to studying navigation, to target practice with my rifle, not a weekend has gone by since then in which I wasn't fully engrossed in learning something to ensure our success.
My original plan was six months. Now it's five. I'm attending Sigma III Survival School's 40-Day Instructor program in April, where our final test is 5 days alone with nothing but a knife. I figure if I include that, it's still 6 months total to challenge myself with my new survival-skills-for-life. As hard as I'm studying, I'm just not willing to put my ass on the line without seriously investing in the knowledge to succeed, and Sigma III's program is the most comprehensive I've found anywhere.
I don't know what compelled me to this point, but I do wonder sometimes if we aren't guided by some mysterious voice to a particular path. The fact that I found such an excellent colleague lends credence to that.
As I set out today to practice my topographical map-reading, animal tracking and wild edible identification skills, I came across not one, but two piles of what clearly appeared to be mountain lion scat. I pushed the toe of my shoe into one. The telltale signs of animal fur along with the 5" length and 3/4" girth lending credibility to my observation. I found another pile not an eighth of a mile further, so I decided to look for tracks.
Sure enough, there were clear tracks leading off into a side wash, so I decided to follow them for a while. It was fascinating to note how much we miss if we don't learn to read the signs.
Mark Elbroch's book, "Mammal Tracking and Sign" with its amazing photos of tracks of nearly every animal one might come across in the wilderness along with numerous photos of their scat, seemed to lend authority to my thoughts, but I'm far from an expert here.
This cat was big. The length from the hind foot to the next hind foot was nearly 4 feet long, and the paw prints were roughly 3.5" wide. Knowing from the multiple stories I've read that cats rarely kill humans and flee from nearly anyone who fights back, I pulled out my machete just in case. After following the tracks for about 150 meters, I stopped, as they lead up a crevice which would've been hard for me to climb. Add to that the fact that I didn't really want to rustle this thing into a confrontation, and I decided to turn around.
When I first got sober, I joined a group called HSM (www.hellosundaymorning.org). A woman there, whom I befriended, supported my adventures and my stories. She christened me with the moniker "Woman Who Walks with Mountain Lions" after I shared the story of my first adventure there and how afraid I was of being eaten by one.
It's amazing how far I have come.
I used to walk slowly on every trail looking at every cranny in a mountain's face fearful I might be attacked at any moment. Now I know I'll never see one coming anyway, so I don't even bother. But I have to admit, much like running into an artist or someone you're really crazy about, I still think it would be really cool to get a live glimpse of something that I truly admire.
Mountain lions represent much of what in the wilderness draws me--a sense of danger, a sense of the unknown and a sense of adventure. Here's to living a large and daring life full of mountain lions to set your imagination on fire.
.
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
On Edible Plants and Foraging
We are lucky.
Here in Los Angeles County, there are several experts on wild edible plants. I've worked with two of them thus far--all for the cost of $20 per class.
I've only taken one class with Alan Halcon, although I believe he's more known as an overall survival guy than a plant expert. However, I learned from him that you can use coyote weed to stun fish and that there are many varieties of willow. I first saw watercress with him. The class I took with him was on trapping basics, but I learned a little about wild edibles as well.
Christopher Nyerges is probably the best known in the area, as he's been teaching survival skills to the Los Angeles public since 1974. His field guide, Foraging California, is an excellent resource for wild edibles found in our own state. He also teaches regular classes at Pasadena City College, and has been a go to resource for National Geographic as well as the TV show, "Naked and Afraid".
He was the first one to show me how similar deadly Poison Hemlock and Filaree are. Through Christopher I was exposed to Curly Doc, Watercress, certain mushrooms, Filaree, wild cherries, Chickweed, Buckwheat, mustards, Yucca, Purslane and Carob among others. I also learned how to make incredible acorn flour pancakes from him.
Christopher taught me how to make a bird trap and some basic dead falls. I honed my skills with a bow drill and hand drill because of Christopher. I also now carry a magnesium ferro rod on my key ring at his suggestion that "everyone should always have a knife and a ferro rod wherever they go." You can find him on Meetup.com .
Pascal Baudar is mainly a plant expert--specifically in making wild edibles into gourmet fare. His new book to be released on March 4, 2016, "The New Wildcrafted Cuisine: Exploring the Exotic Gastronomy of Local Terroir" promises recipes using bug shit which turns to sugar, fermented beers from Mugwort and recipes incorporating mushrooms collected near Hansen Dam. Pascal not only knows a tremendous amount about foraging edible foods in California, the creations he concocts are nothing short of truly inspirational and forward thinking.
He hosts weekly meetups at $20 a pop under the name The Los Angeles Wild Food and Self Reliance Group. There are always at least 10 people along for the culinary ride. I honed my knowledge of Watercress, Curly Doc, Buckwheat, Chickweed and Yucca from him. I learned about Turkey Tail Mushrooms, firmly learned how to distinguish Poison Hemlock from Filaree and/or Chervil, learned about Blue Dick, poisonous Wild Cucumber, Miners Lettuce, Wood Sorrel, Mugwort, White Sage, Black Sage, Yerba Santa, Meditteranean Mustard, Everlasting, Cleaver even Agave from Mr. Baudar.
I even now understand how to easily tell blackberry from poison oak.
Through him, I got to enjoy pears poached with mugwort and sage topped with a sugar made from bug poop. Extraordinary! If there's one thing Pascal has taught me it's that perhaps I won't have to choke down charred squirrel, Instead, maybe I can wrap it in wild herbs and bake it in a clay oven. Perhaps rather than simply surviving, I will be thriving.
Both his and Mr. Nyerges' Meet-Ups are a steal for the money. I highly recommend them both.
I depart for my wilderness trip the last week of July, 2016. I still have much to learn, but my plant identification skills are right on track.
I get to hunt wild turkey on Saturday, and I've got a navigation class next week. I study every spare chance I get.
Things are getting exciting!
Here in Los Angeles County, there are several experts on wild edible plants. I've worked with two of them thus far--all for the cost of $20 per class.
I've only taken one class with Alan Halcon, although I believe he's more known as an overall survival guy than a plant expert. However, I learned from him that you can use coyote weed to stun fish and that there are many varieties of willow. I first saw watercress with him. The class I took with him was on trapping basics, but I learned a little about wild edibles as well.
Christopher Nyerges is probably the best known in the area, as he's been teaching survival skills to the Los Angeles public since 1974. His field guide, Foraging California, is an excellent resource for wild edibles found in our own state. He also teaches regular classes at Pasadena City College, and has been a go to resource for National Geographic as well as the TV show, "Naked and Afraid".
He was the first one to show me how similar deadly Poison Hemlock and Filaree are. Through Christopher I was exposed to Curly Doc, Watercress, certain mushrooms, Filaree, wild cherries, Chickweed, Buckwheat, mustards, Yucca, Purslane and Carob among others. I also learned how to make incredible acorn flour pancakes from him.
Christopher taught me how to make a bird trap and some basic dead falls. I honed my skills with a bow drill and hand drill because of Christopher. I also now carry a magnesium ferro rod on my key ring at his suggestion that "everyone should always have a knife and a ferro rod wherever they go." You can find him on Meetup.com .
Pascal Baudar is mainly a plant expert--specifically in making wild edibles into gourmet fare. His new book to be released on March 4, 2016, "The New Wildcrafted Cuisine: Exploring the Exotic Gastronomy of Local Terroir" promises recipes using bug shit which turns to sugar, fermented beers from Mugwort and recipes incorporating mushrooms collected near Hansen Dam. Pascal not only knows a tremendous amount about foraging edible foods in California, the creations he concocts are nothing short of truly inspirational and forward thinking.
He hosts weekly meetups at $20 a pop under the name The Los Angeles Wild Food and Self Reliance Group. There are always at least 10 people along for the culinary ride. I honed my knowledge of Watercress, Curly Doc, Buckwheat, Chickweed and Yucca from him. I learned about Turkey Tail Mushrooms, firmly learned how to distinguish Poison Hemlock from Filaree and/or Chervil, learned about Blue Dick, poisonous Wild Cucumber, Miners Lettuce, Wood Sorrel, Mugwort, White Sage, Black Sage, Yerba Santa, Meditteranean Mustard, Everlasting, Cleaver even Agave from Mr. Baudar.
I even now understand how to easily tell blackberry from poison oak.
Through him, I got to enjoy pears poached with mugwort and sage topped with a sugar made from bug poop. Extraordinary! If there's one thing Pascal has taught me it's that perhaps I won't have to choke down charred squirrel, Instead, maybe I can wrap it in wild herbs and bake it in a clay oven. Perhaps rather than simply surviving, I will be thriving.
Both his and Mr. Nyerges' Meet-Ups are a steal for the money. I highly recommend them both.
I depart for my wilderness trip the last week of July, 2016. I still have much to learn, but my plant identification skills are right on track.
I get to hunt wild turkey on Saturday, and I've got a navigation class next week. I study every spare chance I get.
Things are getting exciting!
Monday, February 15, 2016
Preserving Fire through Gail Force Winds, Rain and Snow
LESSON #1
Never get wet.
When it's cold outside, you want to make sure the one thing you never do is get wet. This is a basic tenet of survival I've heard time and again. Even sweat in sub-freezing temperatures is not your friend. Wet clothes don't hold heat well and when it's cold outside, they can quickly bring on hypothermia. Hypothermia, if left untreated, will lead to death. Avoid hypothermia at all costs.
I knew this tenet going into my last adventure weekend, so I went in with a plan to do it right. After reading several articles and watching countless videos from the various survival channels I subscribe to, I went into the weekend with what I thought would be a solid plan.
Purchasing two large 10' x 12' tarps from Orchard Supply Hardware and procuring loads of paracord, I set out to make a huge A-frame super tent over top of my tent, my fire and my dry wood. Had it not been for the gail force 40-60 mph winds, it would've worked out fine. However, nature decided to teach me a valuable lesson instead.
PLANNING
After stopping to talk to countless people I saw on the trail (unlike the last time wherein I saw not another soul), I arrived to one of two campsites there. There was no fire pit, but the site was clearly marked with a post. Its freshly engraved 11 had been recently painted bright yellow. Game on.
I sat down my gear and began the process of figuring out where to place my tent, fire, jumbo A-frame structure and extra fire wood. I knew by tomorrow morning I'd be experiencing torrential rainfall, a 100% guarantee according to various weather services, so I wanted to work hard today to set up everything just right.
I only had one option on where to set up my fire, per fire regulations, which was right in the middle of the sandy swath which was the campsite. I would've preferred to put it on higher ground, but the Earth was bone dry at this point, and I couldn't afford to risk starting Station Fire #2. The only issue, however, was there was only one tree to tie anything to--a massive dead oak--it's burned out branches a reminder of the fire that had all but destroyed this area several years ago.
However, there were loads of scrub and other chapparal nearby surrounding the other three sides of the site. I'd just have to make due.
The other issue I was up against was that the sandy pit was clearly in the bottom--the lowest point of this area. Any overflow of rain, and everything would be soaked. There was a 1.5 foot ledge surrounding the back and right side of the site. I decided to set up all of my firewood there, covering it with its own small tarp to ensure it stayed dry.
I cut down loads of chapparal with the new machete my good friend Cynthia had given me. The heavy 2' long blade made quick work of negotiating these otherwise very tough and thorny plants. Stacking the thorny chapparal branches on top of each other, however, created a sort of spring mattress. When I placed my wood upon its prickly fingers, it was held high above the sandy ground. After that, I used my Bahco-Laplander saw to cut down several dead trees in the area, as I knew I'd need a lot of wood to last through today and tomorrow through the night.
I also gathered about 5 more downed trees roughly 8-10" in diameter nearby. Dragging them all over to my campsite, I created a sort of animal deterrent fence around me while still keeping everything under the tarps. I had to plan everything out meticulously in order to keep the wood, my fire and my tent dry.
After spending hours cutting down wood and pulling up loads of dead mugwort for kindling, I set about to build my huge A-frame overhang. Pulling paracord as tight as I could, I strung it on all corners as well as each middle to something be it tree, bush, chapparal even sage brush. Once I got the fire started, and the smoke started to suffocate me as it gathered in the rafters, I jimmied one of the longer trees I had cut down into the center--both opening up a smoke hole and creating a sort of teepee, so the inevitable rain would run down each side. I marveled at how the Indians had perfected the teepee system so many eons ago.
I then set about to dig a 4" deep trench around my entire campsite to force the rainfall around my tent and down the small incline on which my site was perched. My tent lay at the bottom of this incline--far from optimal, but I believed the trenches would keep it dry. By nightfall, I was satisfied I'd have enough wood, that everything would stay dry, and that this would be another successful weekend.
What I didn't plan well for, however, was the 40-60 mph gail force winds and the effect they would have on the trajectory of the rainfall.
THE PLAN IN ACTION
I ate my breakfast and enjoyed my morning coffee--satisfied with my meticulous planning.
Shortly after, the winds started to pick up. The flaps on my A-frame construction began to billow violently. Gushes of rain poured off now in unexpected places. I was forced to re-dig my gutter-pits, to redirect the streams. Suddenly, a giant gust of wind snapped one corner. The wind was so fierce, it literally snapped the paracord in half. Rain gushed down one side onto my wood pile, Donning my cold weather boots, I pulled my rain poncho over my head and went out to reset it. I had to pull the tarp tent corner with all of my might against the crazy winds to reset and retie it. Fighting the violent rain, but determined to do so, I finally got it back into place. My fire was saved, only I was now drenched all the way through.
Since I was already wet, I decided to see if I could further fortify my structure when the tree I'd placed in the middle to hold everything up came crashing down. My entire tarp system, on the verge of total collapse, had to be saved if I was going to keep everything dry. Not to mention, if I couldn't pull the tree back up into place quickly enough, my fire was going to go out, and in my mind, no matter what, I had to keep that fire going strong.
What I believe to be 60 mph winds pushed my tarp into a giant sail. I stood in the middle, soaking wet, the 10' high tree I'd placed to hold up my structure, now pushing me into the ground. I stood like the unknown soldier, fighting to keep that flag up, anchored at an angle, feet digging into the wet sand. The winds and rains pummeling me with their ferocity, taking everything within me to stand my ground. I laughed, understanding that as a 51 year old woman, I take my strength for granted. All of the years of lifting weights were paying off in this one moment. The rains, now coming in at a 45 degree angle, were soaking one side of my tree fence. Pushing up against my center teepee pole with all of my might, I reset it into place, before sitting down, now exhausted, to reassess.
No sooner had I sat down, than snap! Another paracord broke. This time it was in the back, clean in the middle. The corner of the tent drooped, a veritable stream of water gushing down. I knew I was already wet at this point, soaked through. Now I just wanted to fight like hell to keep everything else dry. My fire still burned. From my viewpoint, it appeared my tent was dry too. That side of the tarp teepee had not yet been affected, so I wrongly assumed no water was getting in.
Standing in the pouring rain, battling the winds as they pushed the rain sideways, I marveled at how the sage bush had not buckled. No, it was the paracord that was failing me, not the trees to which they were tied.
I spent the better part of the next 7 hours fighting the elements. Still believing the insides of my tent and what it contained were dry, I mostly spent the day fighting to keep my A-frame tarp up, repairing 5 broken paracords, moving my wood pile 3 different times, re-positioning the tent, re-digging the trenches even re-cutting my teepee pole and digging a 6" hole to place it in, so it wouldn't continuously get knocked down. I laughed at how funny Mother Nature was. I was hoping to spend the day in the rain practicing throwing rocks with my new sling. Instead, I was being tested by her challenge.
At about 5 pm, I sat down to rest and determine my situation. It was still pouring, although the winds had let up slightly. Although my wood was wet, it still burned. It wasn't a very hot fire, but it was alive and well. My feet were drenched. The boots I'd purchased were water resistant, and now I knew they were far from water proof. My wool socks were so wet, I could wring them out. My clothes, even underneath my rain poncho were soaked through. My down jacket, which I had under the poncho was also soaked. Wet down does not hold heat, I thought. I had to figure out what to do.
I had laid everything out in my tent the night before, not thinking to roll up the sleeping bags or put them on higher ground. I had falsely assumed from quick glances within, that everything inside was still dry. This would prove to be a disastrous lack-of-paying-attention-to-detail later on.
It began to sleet and hail.
Small pebbles of ice now poured onto my tarp. I knew the temperature had dropped. The ice piles gathered in the trenches I'd dug, but I was grateful the rain had stopped pouring down.
As I got into my tent to warm up, now shivering mildly from the cold, I became aware of the potential severity of my situation. Not only was everything wet, everything was completely soaked through. I could literally wring water out of my sleeping bag, despite placing plastic underneath them when I'd set up my tent the day before. When I had looked in on the situation earlier, I could see little puddles of water pooling in the corners of my tent, but I had in no way believed everything was getting drenched through. I had even sat down in their earlier to take a break, and everything was still relatively dry.
I decided to see if I could get warm.
I put on the additional clothing I had brought. Stored in my upright backpack, it was still dry. Pulling my extra socks from the bag, I now realized they were the only warm footwear I had left. I decided to guard their dryness like it was my last dollar bill, opting to go barefoot when outside tending to my fire or the forces of nature. Much to my surprise, it wasn't as cold as it would seem.
Pulling the flannel liners from my soaked boots, I placed them by the fire to dry. I also hung my soaking socks over a log nearby. Sitting on my bear tin now stool, trying to stay warm, I mulled over my situation.
I placed my trekking poles near the fire and draped my soaked orange down jacket between the two, creating a sort of drying rack. I hung my wet wool undershirts from my teepee center pole. I was valiantly trying to see if I could get enough items dry that I might be able to stay the night.
I dug out my emergency foil blanket, wrapped myself in it and sat right next to the fire to get warm. The reflective surface worked well, foiling back the fire's rays to me. I was toasty here.
I wondered if I could use the blanket to find a way to stay warm inside my tent for the night. I wrapped myself inside its tin-foil like plasticness, then wrapped both sleeping bags around me, foiling off their dampness.
I was not freezing now, but I was far from warm. Out of the corner of my eye, peering from beneath my wet cocoon, I noticed one of my wool socks catching fire, a small hole now engulfing half of the toes. A huge wind swept up again knocking my jacket into the flames, along with my what-I-thought-was-a-fully-entrenched center tee pee pole. I raced outside my tent to quickly handle the situation, wetting my only remaining dry clothes.
Now being smothered by my tent and inhaling copious amounts of smoke, I grabbed my jacket from the fire and fought the wind to once again right my center teepee pole--surprised that my 6" deep hole had not been able to hold sway in the wet sand.
Sigh. Will this rain ever end?
It began to snow.
I sat down, now shivering slightly and realized I had to make a new plan. I was truly being challenged by the elements here, and I was grateful for the lessons they bestowed. That being said, I knew I couldn't take my situation lightly, and I had to decide what to do.
At least without direct rain, if I went out in the snow, I could stay relatively dry. I set out to gather some more wood, not sure if I could get now thoroughly soaked wood to light. I dragged several whole dead trees right up next to my fire. To my delight, after about 30 minutes of drying out, they begin to alight.
It was now dark, about 6:00 pm, and I had to make a decision. I could gather more wood, wrap myself in my foil blanket and wet sleeping bags, and vainly try to stay warm all night (which would mean continually getting back up to re-stoke the fire), or I could call this a loss and head back down the snow covered mountain.
I really did not want to leave.
I knew that if I stayed I would survive. I'm too smart and too stubborn not to. However, I also knew that I would be in for a VERY uncomfortable 12 hours until sunrise. Or, I could pack up right now and head down the hill.--a mere 3-4 hours of pain the assness.
The snow could potentially make the downhill trek dangerous too.
After much mulling, I decided that likely the snow would still be powder, but if the temperatures kept dropping overnight, then rose in the morning causing it to melt, it could likely turn to ice, making departing the next day an even worse idea.
I had to go.
PLAN B
I stuffed my wet clothes and wet sleeping bags into their respective pouches. I donned my now dry socks and now pretty dry boots, put back on my still wet, but pretty warm down jacket, my still wet fingerless gloves, my two hats and my ski pants and prepared for a long 4 mile trek.
The pack, now weighing in a 57# (I weighed it when I got back. It was only 40# when I left), was nearly impossible to put on. Although I truly love my Osprey women's heavy duty pack, it really is nearly impossible to put on alone without something high like a picnic table to set it on. Well, there was nothing remotely close nearby, so I had to figure out another way.
I lay the pack on it's back, the side where my back goes, beckoning me with its open spongy "hip hugging" arms. I laid into it and strapped myself in. Rolling onto my belly, I leaned heavy onto my trekking poles, and with a huge heave righted myself up. Once standing, its heavy weight, evenly distributed, seemed fine.
I set off along the snow dusted path into the void of night.
There was snow everywhere, so lulling in its beauty, I'd hoped the path would still be easy to follow.
I decided early on that if anything about this dark downhill journey seemed to put my life in danger, I would turn back, set up camp and wait it out. Fortunately, I was faced with no such decision.
I knew the first half of the trail would be uphill and the second half down. The downhill on the snow concerned me. I'd have to decide that when I got there.
As I trekked up the hill, the sandy path revealed itself--naked. The snow did not cling there. I was grateful.
Heading up the mountain the day before had taken me 2.5 hours to cover just over 4 miles. I'd come across ONE crossing which I considered a bit scary, a tree branch hung over the trail, making passing it precarious. A fall would send a hiker tumbling down potentially to their death. I knew I'd have to pass this again on my way up. I vowed to be super careful.
It would take me 3.5 hours to get back.
Wow! The heavy winds and rains had done great damage to the trail. I came across 3 huge branches, their spindly snow-covered fingers grasping tightly to the hillside, as they blocked my path. I picked up each 8 foot long sectioned, tumbling it down the mountainside to clear the way. I pressed on.
Bobcat tracks preceded me. I'd guessed they were bobcat because of the 4 asymetrical toes and the 3 tiered heel pad. Later upon perusing my tracking books, then attending a tracking class, I was sure I was right. The freshly sown prints lead my way for almost the entire first 2 miles. I never saw the bobcat though I hoped I might.
Downed tree #2 crossed the path. This was an entire full grown pine tree, its huge trunk thoroughly blocking the path alongside many of its spindly branches still attached. It's 2.5 foot circumference gave me one choice, to go over it, as it was too close to the ground to go under. As I looked at the angle in which it lead down the mountainside, I had visions of straddling the snow-covered tree only to slide down it to my death. I opted instead to remove my pack and go separately. Tossing my super-heavy pack over, I climbed over the massive trunk to the other side. Laying on my back to once again don the crazy thing, I righted myself with my trekking poles and continued on my way. I hoped there wouldn't be too many more of these.
No such luck. I wound up either having to cross over , belly under or remove a total of 10 trees and or branches from the path on the way back.
I decided if I felt it necessary, I would leave my pack behind to retrieve in the morning. I never felt it necessary.
I approached the backside of Strawberry Peak. It stood as a massive black silhouette against the dark and starry sky. It seemed far away, but I saw the pass to the other side clearly, and I pressed on. The bobcat tracks were still guiding me.
Streams where there was before zero water, crossed the path. I gingerly crossed them, not wanting to get my boots wet. The water in my water bottle began to freeze. I felt plenty warm, and indeed my spirits were high.
As I got to the top of the mountain pass, the lights of the City lay far across many valleys before me. I still had a long way to go, and I was already almost 2 hours in.
Rounding the corner, the winds picked up tremendously. I was grateful they were pressing me into the mountain rather than away from it, as otherwise, I'd likely have to abort or leave my pack behind.
The dusty snow, still powder, not ice lay below my feet. Mainly covering just outside the actual path, it stood as a reminder of the cold.
I pressed on.
The bobcat no longer accompanied me.
Periodically, when traveling at night, I've learned to put my headlamp on bright and scan the area. Two little lights peering back at me indicate an animal. All night, I had seen none. Now deep in the caverns of the valley below, two eyes peered back at me, watching.
I howled. Nothing howled back.
I kept along the trail keeping my eye on the animal. Its gaze followed me, but it in no way seemed interested in a pursuit. I figured it was likely a coyote.
I kept moving.
Boredom and weariness crept in. I stared to make up songs in my head and sing them out loud.
Another tree blocked my path. The mere size of its trunk would've made it impossible to crawl over, and going up the steep mountainside from whence it came was out of the question. I had no choice but to slide on my belly underneath it. When I got to the other side, my crazy tarp mashed-up-mess was lopsided. As I walked, I knew I had to stop and fix it. A big wind or a misstep with an unbalanced load was not a good idea.
Once again I had to lay on my back to don my overloaded pack. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it.
Realizing I still had another mile to go, I stepped up my song. My fingers were slightly numb now, and I needed to get home. I dreamed of In N' Out and a warm dry bed.
As I finished the trek and got into my car, I was grateful the roads hadn't been closed. The lights to the house near the Hahamonga Cultural Center were on, and if I had to, I could've slept in my car overnight or knocked on his door. That being said, I realized I'd made a lot of mistakes this weekend and had indeed been very lucky everything had mostly gone my way.
If I had to do it all over again, here's what I would have done.
1. Focus on keeping EVERYTHING in my tent dry foregoing a fire. My sleeping bags were plenty warm, and as long as they stayed dry, I would've been fine.
In retrospect, I should've secured both tarps directly over my tent and put my tent up on the ledge under the nearby manzanita bushes.
2. If I really wanted a fire, I should've built a separate teepee like structure large enough to contain that fire, with a tarp wrapped around it, and large enough to keep additional wood inside.
Had I just stayed dry, rather than worrying about maintaining an unnecessary fire, I wouldn't have put myself in a potentially life threatening condition.
Glad to be learning these lessons now before I head into the wild this August.
Monday, January 4, 2016
My First Squirrel
2015 Started my foray into adventure land. After always wanting to learn survival skills and only dabbling in them before, last year started my immersion full steam ahead.
Why am I doing all of this, I've been asked? Honestly, because life is short, and I've seen too many people close to me pass away before having the chance to go on that big adventure. My Dad, the picture of health, died in his prime from a rare form of leukemia (in adults). My Uncle, having just finished building the organic picturesque farm of his dreams, died the very day he invited everyone over to partake in its bounty. No one saw it coming.
We all know that we don't know when we're going to go, which is why I am doing this now. There never will be a perfect time. Ever.
I've been hinting around about my plans long enough, so I'll open the secret drawer a wee bit wider. I'm planning to live in the wilderness for 4-6 months. I'm going with one other person, and that's as much as I'm going to say for now. Someday, alongside further developing my expertise as a strength and conditioning coach, I also want to become a master of survival.
Once I made the decision to go on this survival adventure, all of my training took on a new sense of urgency. It's one thing to learn these skills for fun and party tricks. It's quite another to learn them when you're going to need them to survive. Purpose inspires motivation.
Obviously if you're going to live in the wilderness for a bit, procuring food is essential, which is why I'm learning to hunt. I bought my first gun, a Ruger .22 take-down rifle recently, as I figured learning to shoot small game first would better prepare me for larger game later. You have to be a better shot, as the animals are small and fast. Besides that, small game is more abundant, the seasons are longer and generally the limits you can take in a day or possess would be enough to actually live on. I mean you can take an unlimited supply of jack rabbits. Assuming you could catch one every other day (good luck!), and you didn't tire of the meat, one could actually theoretically do this. (Of course with rabbit, you'd need an extraneous fat source so you didn't die of rabbit fever,but that's another story.)
I drove up to San Luis Obispo County on Friday morning, as hunting small game with a rifle in LA County is illegal. After doing some research online, I decided upon the Los Padres National Forest. A few folks on a hunter's forum I visited suggested the area. I decided to car camp in Figueroa State Campground, as my task for the weekend was to kill, field dress, butcher and eat a squirrel, not to go back packing or demonstrate my amazing camping skills.
I arrived about 10:30 am on New Year's Day, set up my camp and headed out, my Ruger .22 take down, all taken down and stuffed in my back pack. I headed out on a nearby trail hoping to find a spot that I felt safe enough to take a shot. If there's one thing the Hunter Safety Course drilled into my head, is not to take a shot unless you are absolutely sure of everything surrounding it. In other words, no shooting off at a squirrel when there's a field of trees you can't see through on the other side. I figured the only way I could do this safely, would be to ensure I was facing a ravine with an opposing hill on the other side. I'm a decent shot on a target range, but ain't no way accidentally killing someone or damaging property is something I'm interested in. That ranks right up there with ain't no way I'm taking out a cyclist on Angeles Crest highway, because I'm in too much of a hurry to slow down around blind curves.
The day was cold, but I was overdressed in my two hats, my flannel lined beanie on the inside and my hunter orange sweater cap on top, my orange down jacket and my new cold weather boots made in Canada. Still no way I was removing my orange jacket or hat. I'd heard too many stories of hunters accidentally getting killed by dumb asses not thinking straight and shooting blindly at a noise in the trees.
I walked down about a mile across a broad hilly field covered in foot high yellow grasses to what looked like a bunch of oak trees from above. As I approached the trees, I realized the oaks were few and far between. The hill sides were covered more in Manzanitas than anything, and no squirrel's going to set up shop there for lack of food.
After a few hours of walking around looking for more signs of trees squirrels would like, I realized I was in the wrong place. I retraced my steps back to my campsite, got in my car and drove.
I headed down the road until I came to another broad hillside that looked promising. I headed out, walking up the hill, frequently stopping to listen and be still. Nothing. I wasn't hearing or seeing anything! I've been camping enough to be able to recognize squirrel chatter, and this place was dead silent.
Frustrated, I drove down the road to a nearby fire station. About a dozen firefighters were hanging outside seemingly chatting on a break. I parked my car, got out and headed over to them. "Hey, any of you guys hunt squirrel?", I asked. "I've been looking all day, but I haven't seen even one." A stereotypically good looking firefighter of about 28 with striking blue eyes laughed. "Just over the hill there. Head back up, park on the left, and I swear you'll see about a dozen of them."
Yes! Excitedly, I headed my car back up, parked where he said and got out. I walked, stopped, looked and listened. I took great pains to be still. Nothing. I kept this up for over an hour. Still nothing. Finally, I decided to call it a day, but not before driving around the area looking for what I hoped might be a better spot for tomorrow.
I drove past my campground then kept going, winding my way up until I came across a patch of woods loaded with oaks and pine. "This is it!", I said to myself. I felt sure I saw signs of squirrels with recently chewed pine cones and loads of fresh holes dug into the ground. Maybe I'd just gotten too late of a start.
The next day I woke up early and headed out to the new hunting area I had found. With my rifle broken down and secured in my backpack, I planned to stay out most of the day. I'd heard that one has to be patient and spend a great deal of time listening and waiting.
The hillside was steep, but my heavy duty snow boots clung to the ground nicely. As I stood atop a 45 degree swath trying to figure the best way down, the branch to which I was clinging, suddenly gave way. My hand grasped its ends at it sliced me open before sending me smack down on my ass sliding 50 feet down. A huge cloud of dust settled all over me. This, my friends, is why we were taught not to carry loaded guns. Thank the gods I was a good student and listened. Embarrassed, I got up, laughing at myself and glad no one else was around. "Well, at least I was down the hill now", I thought.
I pushed on, noticing a small dry creek. There was no water up here, which didn't bode well for my squirrel theory. I somehow expected to find water here. I followed the dry creek bed down, taking careful note of my surroundings. There were loads of deer trails, loaded with deer pellets. There was a possum skull that had obviously been there awhile. Finally, I found a few fresh mounds of dirt piled above holes, holes which I was sure must be the home of ground squirrels. Add to that the fact that there were dozens of freshly eaten pine cones surrounding the area and branches with the bark eaten away, and I felt sure it was just a matter of time before a squirrel got up to gather its breakfast. I sat down at about 8 am, loaded my gun, put the safety on, left the action open and waited.
The last time I stayed in Valley Forge Trail Camp, a squirrel came out at precisely 10 am from a similar hole. He scampered across the log to another hole, got an acorn, then scampered back. He did this twice each morning I was there. I was hopeful by 10 am, Mr. Squirrel of Los Padres would make a similar appearance.
It was cold. Today I had on a pair of leggings, a pair of pants plus a pair of snow pants on top of that. I had on a nylon base layer, then a merino wool base layer then my down jacket. I had on two pairs of socks and my snow boots as well as two sweater caps. I was completely comfortable while moving.
As I sat there, waiting, my toes started to be cold, then my butt. Then I had to put on my gloves. I heard an animal off to my left. Realizing that if a squirrel did appear, closing the action would cause him to run away, I decided to ready my gun for use.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
The sun was slowly creeping up in the sky, but there was a lot of cloud cover. I decided that if I didn't see a squirrel by 11 am, I was calling it a day at this spot and moving on.
At precisely 11 am I packed up my gun and decided to head deeper in the canyon. I love how much the forest can tell you. There were deer trails everywhere. I decided to follow them just for fun to see where they would lead. I followed the deer track trails up, taking note of spots where deer had bedded for a while. I saw swaths of feathers where some bird had lost its life. Finally, I decided to just head up hill. As I expected, I wound up on the road from where I started, so I walked down it a bit to get back to my car.
As I approached my car, about a half-dozen fifty-something male cyclists were taking a break in the same parking lot. One approached me and struck up a conversation. I told him I was trying to hunt squirrels, but so far I hadn't seen a one.
He told me he and his friends had ridden up from the other side starting down in the valley and that he'd seen a bunch of squirrels on their way in. He also mentioned a ranger station in the same direction. I knew all of that area was private land closed to hunting, but I figured I'd head that way to the ranger station anyway. Perhaps they could direct me to a good hunting spot.
Along the way I passed a stream, offering an unexpected chance to refill all of my water.
As I headed down, I passed farms and vineyards, ranches and dwellings--all private property and no ranger station. A squirrel darted across the road, then another, then five squirrels darted in front of me. I kept driving. A dead gray squirrel lay in the middle of the road.
I decided to pull over and check it out. It was still warm! It must have recently been hit, but it was definitely dead. Blood was starting to crust on its lips and one of its eyes had been knocked out of the socket. I'm guessing the impact of a wheel must have broken it's neck or fractured it's skull. Besides being obviously dead, it was fully in tact.
I got an idea.
Part of what I set out to do this weekend was to learn to field dress, cook and eat a squirrel. Well, if I couldn't kill one on my own, then at least I could learn the other skills I drove up here for. I put the now hardening squirrel into my passenger seat and headed back to the campsite. I sat wondering about how difficult this was going to be. I get squeamish cutting up chicken. I knew it was going to be a challenge, and I wasn't looking forward to it. I knew I had to do it anyway, if I expected to learn to survive in the wild.
After I pulled into my campsite driveway, I opened the car door and pulled out the dead squirrel. I laid him down face up on the picnic bench and pondered what to do. I'd watched dozens of videos and read loads of articles on how to do this, but actually doing it is always another story.
I got out my "Survival Wisdom, & Know How" book I had received as a Christmas present and turned to the pages on field dressing small game. One thing was for sure, I didn't want blood all over my campsite, making it more attractive to bears. I got my knife and some twine and headed into the forest nearby.
WARNING: NEXT SECTION CONTAINS GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF DRESSING A SQUIRREL. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TYPES OF THINGS.
The squirrel was fairly hard now, as rigor mortis had set in. Urine hung onto his little penis, and I noticed the large comparative size of his balls. "Hmmm", I thought. Guess I'd never given much thought before to a squirrel's reproductive organs.
I knew you were supposed to make a cut in such a way as to not puncture the colon or bladder, somewhere around the anus. The tip of my knife had difficulty slicing through the fur, so I cut a large gash into one of his thighs. Dark red blood seeped out onto his white underbelly fur.
God this was gross.
I cut a line down one leg, then the other. I cut a horizontal line to connect the two and opened up his body cavity. His intestines fell out.
"Oh God", I thought. " This is so gross". I knew I needed to remove all of his organs and cut his windpipe, so I could pull all of this stuff out. Cutting his fur away from his body was harder than I expected. He was just so tough!
I couldn't bring myself to break his sternum, as I've seen done in some of the videos, so I decided to cut off his head instead. The cracking sound his spine made was disgusting. Even though I knew the squirrel was dead, this was still more disgusting than dissecting a frog in biology class, which I had truly enjoyed. Somehow I thought this would be closer to that. Wrong.
Cutting off his head freed up his windpipe, so I was finally able to get the stomach, liver, bladder and intestines out in one fell swoop. I severed his colon and pulled everything through. No leakage. Good.
Then I set about to try to skin him. Jesus! This was tough. I mean it wasn't an easy process. Pulling the skin off the dang thing was akin to literally ripping it off. There was no way to be delicate about this, as I soon learned. Dirt was getting on the meat everywhere, so I decided to take my decapitated squirrel back to my campsite and finish up the job there.
I placed him on a paper bag and finished the skinning process. Cutting through the tail made my skin crawl. I imagine it would be like what cutting off someone's little finger would be like. It was tough and grissly.
As the skin came clear, it became obvious to me I was going to have to cut off the feet and the hands too. I had read in a book just to break the bones, so I decided to try. Snap! Oh God! It was just so repulsive to break this poor dead animal's bones, but I did it anyway, finally removing all of its appendages from the edible meat.
Now that I had my fully skinned, decapitated and de-footed squirrel, I decided to try several attempts at squirrel fare. First, I dipped the two thighs into garlic and butter and pan fried them up to a golden brown. Second, I took the arms and breasts alongside some fresh rosemary sprigs I brought along, and I made a soup. Third, I filleted the back into thin strips, so I could try my hand at squirrel jerky.
The thighs were so tough, they were almost inedible. Think the toughest chuck steak you ever had or maybe rubber. I managed to peel off a few bits. The garlic was so strong, despite the texture, it tasted fine.
The soup was delicious. Along with the fresh rosemary, I brought along butter, so it had a nice subtle gamey quality to it. It was fatty and herbacious, and I drank every last bit of it down. The occasional squirrel hair added to its mystique.
The jerky, however, was a hit! I marinated it in apple cider vinegar for about 20 minutes before smoking it for several hours over some hot coals. It was crispy and delicious, and I honestly wish I'd had more.
I buried the head, feet, back bones, entrails and any remaining meat on the skeleton out in the forest--far enough away that I wouldn't be aware of any visitors. Sure enough, in the morning, not one morsel remained. I'm thinking maybe the possum I'd seen the night before got to it.
Either way, I felt I had done that poor squirrel justice. Probably some animal would've gobbled him up that night anyway, but I was grateful I'd been able to make use of him to learn some lessons I needed to know.
Learning all of this makes me truly appreciate the lives we live now. As I sat cutting apart that squirrel, I realized I never have to do that. I never have to deal with animal hair or dirt in my meat. I never have to look in the animal's eyes and wonder about its life. I never have to wince as I remove its head or break the bones in its legs to remove its furry little feet. No, someone, somewhere else does all of that for me in a far off plant. All I do is go to the super-market and buy the finished product, ready to eat.
I'm not adverse to eating meat, but I'm realizing that perhaps in learning to kill and prepare it myself, I will more fully appreciate what is being given to me. I know in a survival situation, I will not be able to take my next meal for granted. There may be weeks that go by without so much as an animal siting. My goal then is to learn to use every single part of the animal, so that absolutely nothing goes unused. I will learn to appreciate the parts that make me wince now--the grissle, the chewy bits and the dangling fat.
I will learn not to waste.
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